Dear students of a North Portland University that had a pub crawl last Wednesday: You have hit a new low. SantaCon brings in obnoxious bad tippers, and you guys made them look good. You socially crippled douchelords must have a required freshman course in how to alienate everyone around you and make them wish you were dead. Your shitty mustache is not an ID. Just fucking give your ID when a bartender asks for it. Do you guys get expelled if you tip even a quarter on a beer or meal? What fucking worthless planet do you come from? You all dress the same, act the same and if your collective personality was an ice cream flavor it would be vanilla minus. Every customer service person in the neighborhood now hates you even more than we already did, which is quite a bit. Please sign up to be organ donors and take a bath with the toaster.
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