I realize i would be a pretty good catch and you could forever hold bragging rights among your little arachnoid buddies but stringing your web right outside my door so the first thing is get is a mouthful of your butt floss as i go to work in the morning is a real dick move dude.
I've been pretty tolerant of your game lately, letting you string up your little old school cobwebs, (do those things even still work?) and not just rampaging with my dust buster every time i see one. We both hate mosquitoes and i thought you were providing a valuable service. Well that's over man. You violated the covenant by going after my big game. Consider yourself crushed if i see you.

By the way, those big yellow sac spiders that run around real fast looking for other spiders to eat? They don't spin webs and not coincidentally they don't get the business end of my shoe.