Break Room Pile Up

Dear not so well meaning coworker:
The break room table is not the location for your free box. In the tradition of Portland, please deliver your unwanted items to curbside and set them in a card board box. No one is going to eat those two heels from a loaf of bread left stranded in a sea of clutter, the secretaries like cake but won’t touch the leftovers from your friend’s baby shower that had the frosting roses picked off before arrival to our place of work, and I’ve never seen anyone wear one of or even pick through the pile of stretched out polo shirts you brought in a while back. The break room is for relaxing. It’s not supposed to remind us all of visiting hoarder relatives. The only good things are that you leave your coupon mailers, which I see as confetti celebrating that possibility that one day there will be so much stuff that the table will collapse and no longer be available to hold your “someone might like this” optimism.