Here Comes the Boom will hereafter be referred to as Mr. Brawlin’s Opus.
Alex Falcone
Alex is a moderately attractive comedian and Internet celebrity. He writes about philosophy, robots, travel, and himself.
Posted inSex
Rap, I Love You, But Stop Saying “Getting Brain”
Try not to hump this, Kanye. I have only two problems with rap music. (1) I’m not a famous rapper. and(2) They refer to oral sex as “getting brain” and that’s super gross. That phrase is the most terrifying imagery ever used to describe a beautiful act. Sure, it gives rappers the ability to make […]
Posted inComedy
Comedy Tour Diary: A Review of Boise, ID
Although up-and-coming comedian Alex Falcone is now writing hilarious and popular blog posts for us on the reg (and, we might add, totally exceeding our expectations for how much humor can be packed into a simple blog post), we’re still going to revisit his Tour Diary from time to time to remind us of those […]
Posted inEvents
The Color Run: Burning Man For Soccer Moms
Somebody blue my eye. I was one of very few people who ran in The Color Run on Saturday morning. Well, 15,000 people entered, but 14,930 of them walked the entire time. And not like power walking, where you move slowly but pump your arms a lot and you have a funny iPod holder wrapped […]
Posted inMusic
The 6 Worst Songs on Carly Rae Jepsen’s New Album
I love pop music. I do. I couldn’t admit it for years because my friends all have excellent taste, but now that I’ve tricked those friends into loving me forever, I can finally say it out loud. I love it. So everything I’m about to say comes from a fan. Carly Rae Jepsen’s new album […]
Posted inBooks
E.L. James Signed Her Smut and Made A Bunch of Horny Ladies Happy
These books might be saving the industry. Wm.™ Steven Humphrey suggested very strongly that I should attend the E.L. James book signing last night at Powell’s and write about it. He did it because Wm.™ Steven Humphrey is a terrible person. The good news is the event was just a book signing, not a reading. […]
Posted inBooks
Don’t Forget, Dirty Sex Book Is Kinda Our Fault
Wikipedia Three or four shades take place in Portland. E.L. James is gracing fans of her problematic sex books Fifty Shades of Grey et al with a book signing on Monday at Powell’s. Let’s not look down our noses at her just because she’s sold over 40 million copies of her disturbing erotic fan fiction. […]
Posted inTech
Stuff Moms Do On Facebook
Facebook has largely survived the great momalanche of 2007-2008. The rest of us didn’t leave in huge numbers like we promised. When the moms showed up, though, they brought with them their own set of mom-behaviors that, while harmless, should nonetheless be stopped. Moms sign their comments and messages. “Looks like you’re having a great […]
Posted inDrugs
Monkeys: Now With 50% More Cocaine
Science is amazing. Last week I read this New York Times article about an exciting new treatment for dementia and brain damage. Let me explain the experiment: 1.) Scientists teach a monkey to play the game of Memory. Apparently they’re pretty good at it.2.) Scientists give the monkey some cocaine so it’ll be less good […]
Posted inMusic
Questions for Concertgoers
I need some help. I went to a rock and roll show this past weekend. It was very good. But I haven’t gone to many concerts recently and there were several things I didn’t quite understand. Perhaps you are cooler than me and can explain. Question: Who gets the money tacked-on to the ticket price? […]
Posted inFeature
How to… MAKE MO’ MONEY
There’s no honor in being a poor college student anymore; Mark Zuckerberg messed that up for everybody. While you’re sitting in microeconomics, be thinking macro. You’re a Winner™ and a Winner™ doesn’t need a job to get filthy rich. METHOD 1: Hustle dorm games You don’t need superior skill to hustle pool, just a trustworthy […]
Posted inTech
Apple iPhone Announcement Postview!
Since my preview went so well, I assumed (correctly) that you’d want to hear more of my thoughts about Apple’s big event this morning. For you, dear reader, I took a couple hours out of my morning to kinda watch the Apple announcement while cleaning my apartment. Here are my thoughts. The most important thing […]