I like watching TV shows where people work hard for a living. I put them on in the background while I sit around my apartment doing fuck all. Recently The Discovery Channel seems to be focusing all their energy on shows about horribly unqualified gold miners endangering their own lives, and if you don’t have […]
Alex Falcone
Alex is a moderately attractive comedian and Internet celebrity. He writes about philosophy, robots, travel, and himself.
Posted inFood and Drink
Cupcakes are the Hatecrimes of the Cake World
I’m getting married next summer. While that should probably translate to a ton of work, so far it’s only meant spending whole days looking at pictures of cake on Pinterest. It’s thoroughly delightful. My only problem is some people seem to think it’s okay to classify cupcakes as cakes. They are not. They are an […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Breaking Dawn Part 2: A Rap Summary
In case you wanted to know more about the plot of Breaking Dawn Part 2, I made this handy rap cartoon and animated it. Now your only confusion will be why this got popular.
Posted inMovies & TV
How to Watch Breaking Dawn Part 2 If You Know Nothing About Twilight
Vampire = Normal person + make up This weekend sees the release of final chapter in the Twilight Saga. Provided they don’t immediately reboot it Spiderman-style, this is your last chance to catch the Emo Dead on the big screen. If you’ve avoided the series so far (Yay!) but you’re thinking of seeing this one […]
Posted inElection 2012
The Movie was Okay, but Nate Silver Spoiled the Ending
Election night used to be fun. I’d sit down with some pop corn and watch the votes roll in. Chuck Todd would be touching his touchy-touch board, NBC would be painting their Ice Rink Of Divisiveness, and people and holograms would finally be working together for the greater good. It was fun! Knuckles were enwhitened, […]
Posted inTech
Robot Apocalypse Update
A couple months back I warned you of the threat posed by noodle robots. And yet you did nothing to protect yourself. Well, things are getting worse. Not only are robots making noodles to fatten us up, they’re now able to slowly and awkwardly cut cucumbers into random sized slices. Holy shit. You can’t watch […]
Posted inRebel Alliance
POINT/COUNTERPOINT! Star Wars Finally Escapes Abusive Father
STAR WARS Thanks for dressing up for the photo, George. Sick of everybody talking about Disney buying Lucasfilm yet? WE DON’T CARE. In the closest the Mercury will ever get to publishing a “think piece,” Blogtown’s Alex Falcone and Senior Editor Erik Henriksen have decided to discuss the future of Star Wars, a series made […]
Posted inTech
The Complete Guide To The iPad Mini, Nexus 10, and Surface Announcements
It’s been a big couple weeks for tablet computers with the Big 3 all announcing new products. Tablets are the fastest growing segment of the computers-without-practical-uses market. But how should you decide which tablet to spend a few hundred bucks on and then leave sitting around the house? With this handy guide, silly! Models available: […]
Posted inPolitics
Everybody Chill Out. The World Isn’t Only Douchebags.
If you read the Internet (and it seems you do) it’s easy to think the world is falling apart. Yesterday was National Come Out As A Dipshit day with Donald Trump announcing he’s still a waste of combs, people responding to Ann Coulter’s tweet (It’s so cute that she’s on Twitter; she thinks she’s people!), […]
Posted inMisc.
A Return To Positivity: 5 Things I Actually Liked In the Last Week
We can all agree everything I’ve written in this blog has been funny. That’s easy enough. But there has been some concern that it’s all a bit too negative. “What do you actually like?” “What do you care about?” “What can you come out in support of?” These are questions people ask in the comments, […]
Posted inMusic
Throw Your Hands In The Air Like You’ve Got Two Questions To Ask
Buy this album, except the anti-consumerism song. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis was the first hip hop show I’ve ever attended. It was almost entirely awesome (an hour forty-five is too long for a set that has two openers; no matter how good you are you’re competing against sore feet) but I still was caught off […]
Posted inAstronomy
Red Bull Stratos Jump – IMPROVED AUDIO
If you haven’t watched the whole Red Bull Freefall From The Edge Of Space, I highly recommend it. The only problem I had when I was watching it live yesterday was that I couldn’t make out what Felix was saying. I ran the audio through a couple filters though, and I think it’s much more […]