What Job is Right for Me? The unemployment rate is at 5.4 percent. Recent reports indicate that 415,000 jobs were lost in October alone. You’re twenty-something. Unemployed. Over-educated. Self-entitled. And without prospects. Don’t lose heart! There are plenty of jobs out there that are PERFECT for you! What are they? We’ve narrowed the field to […]
Chelsea Cain
Posted inUncategorized
SELF-HELL
Analysis for People on the Go
Am I Patriotic? As patriotic fervor sweeps the nation in the wake of last month’s tragedy, Americans have come together to boost the economy through the acquisition of vast numbers of tiny red, white, and blue ribbon lapel pins. This guerilla economic relief effort has extended to all variety of Old Glory products, from T-shirts […]
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Self-Hell
Do My Friends Secretly Hate Me?
It may come as a surprise to many of our readers that vast volumes of people go through life quite happily without ever questioning their personal outlook or the veracity of those around them. Of course these gay folk are, in fact, deluding themselves. Think you’re well adjusted, content, and secure? You may be, but […]
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Self-Hell
Analysis for People on the Go
Did My Neighbor Steal the Federal Surplus? As many of you may have heard, the federal surplus vanished last week. Where did it go? Whodunit? By all accounts it was locked up tight in Fort Knox. Then: Poof! Nothing. The government has asked that all right-thinking Americans scrutinize their neighbors for signs of suspicious behavior. […]
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Flying Elephants
Flying Elephants 812 SW Park Ave. 546-3166 Is there anything better than the taste of salty, fresh mozzarella accompanied by a crisp pinot gris? Don’t you just LOVE biscotti? Aren’t you CRAZY about J. Crew? Don’t you just hate people who snicker during Literary Arts lectures? Then you’ve probably already been to Flying Elephants, the […]
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Self-Hell
Am I a Clone?
All this debate over human cloning has led to some understandable hand wringing among those prone to identity crises. How much of who you are is determined by your DNA? Are you replaceable? And, if you are a clone, do you have super powers? Sorry, no. Still, it could be fun. Think you might be […]
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Self-Hell
Analysis for People on the Go
Am I an Artificial Life Form? With the astounding advances in animation, and the upcoming release of tearful boy-droid epic AI, it’s not surprising that so many people are considering the possibility that they, themselves, might be artificial life forms. How would you know? What if reality were a complex computer generation and everything you […]
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Self-Hell
Analysis for People on the Go
Are You a Bad Correspondent? Are you listless, irritable and chronically guilt-ridden? Do you start letters in your head but never seem to sit down to write them? Does your annual holiday card to your family begin, “Remember me?” You may be a bad correspondent! At the Self-Hell Institute in Helsinki, we have a whole […]
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People on the Go
Analysis for People on the Go
Am I a Globetrotter? Let’s face it, there are travelers and then there are “bad” travelers. Some of us wander around the world looking for adventure. Some of us wander around our apartments looking for that bong we had just a minute ago. Do you have what it takes to be an international jetsetter, or […]
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SELF HELL
Analysis for People on the Go
Am I Financially Responsible? Recently, we’ve been hearing a lot about how the looming global recession will make the Depression look like the Moulin Rouge. All this yammering has made many of us examine our own fiscal conservatism. What shape will you be in when capitalism collapses? Take the simple quiz and find out. Good […]
Posted inOne Day at a Time
WHERE IN THE WORLD IS BENECIO DEL TORO?
The latest and freshest scoop on the actor Portland just can’t seem to get enough of… Benicio Del Toro!
Totally True, Wholly Uncorroborated Benicio Encounters Oscar-winner and hubba-hubba hunk Benicio Del Toro is in Portland, and there hasn’t been this much ado in Stumptown since last year’s Rose Queen tore off her brassiere and ran shrieking from her float and court. The Oregonian and Portland Tribune have been breathlessly reporting Benicio sightings for weeks, […]
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SELF-HELL
Analysis for People on the Go
Am I Fulfilling My Potential? Every month, here at the Self-Hell Institute in Helsinki, we receive thousands of letters from individuals just like you who are worried they may not be fulfilling their potential. This is a delicate question, and not one to be taken lightly. Many of the symptoms that may indicate a lack […]