Dan Savage

Women on Porn Maybe there’s nothing women can do about men being “hard-wired” to lust after other people. Maybe all we can expect is for them not to act on that instinct. Maybe we just have to “get over it.” But can you give some advice on how to “get over it”? Maybe it’s “natural,” […]

Sensitive Guy My boyfriend looks at porn and it freaks me out. It’s not because I’m jealous, but because I’m insecure. I’m sure many of those girls are more attractive than me. In general, Dan, you’ve been really insensitive toward people (girls, I guess) who feel strange about porn. I think that was unnecessary because […]

Dog Days Between the ages of 13 and 16 I engaged in bestiality with our household pets. I was a horny kid, and I guess kind of a freak. It never went beyond oral copulation and I eventually curtailed the whole thing due to guilt and shame. I am now a 21-year-old woman who is […]

Dullsville This is probably the least entertaining letter you’ll ever get, but I hope it’ll make a nice break between snot-suckers and shit-eaters. I am 18 now, going to college, and I think I may be in love. I know that it might seem like I am jumping in with both feet, but I don’t […]

In Vegas I made the mistake of telling my “friendsÓ I had an “accident.Ó The girl giving me a lap dance was grinding too hard and I blew my load. Within minutes the nicknames started: Sticky Pants, Pocket Paste, et cetera. I took my medicine for three days in Vegas and thought that would be […]

Frothy Mix Take a word of advice from a doctoral student of communications at an Ivy League university: If you want your message to stick, you need to repeat it over and over and over. The reactionaries in our government certainly understand this. We progressives also need to embrace this strategy to get our message […]

Fucking Google I’m a 16-year-old girl with a 17-year-old boyfriend. My boyfriend is religious and strongly against sex before marriage (vaginal, anal, or even oral). Recently our making out has lead to “dry humping.” I’ve heard all sorts of things from peers and teen magazines about what can happen when a guy ejaculates in this […]

Fuck Off, Faghag I gotta say I’m a bit disappointed in you. I’ve been reading your column for years and you’ve answered the same question from gay men many times: “How can I hook up with my straight roommate?” Months ago I asked you a similar question–“How can I hook up with my gay best […]

In and Out I’m a 19-year-old girl dating a 21-year-old guy. We’ve been dating for a year and a half, love each other dearly, have a great time together. In bed the other night, my sweet boyfriend let me put a vibrator in his ass. He wanted to do it to me, so I told […]

Rest On Sunday How do you get rid of a sexual fetish? I’ve got an incest fetish and while I don’t plan on acting on it, Dan, it’s still very annoying. Second, I was raped by a sibling as a child. Repeatedly. And while at first I was upset by this, I eventually began to […]

DTMFA! Dear Readers: I’m on vacation. I’m actually sitting on the beach as I write these words, knocking back margaritas and watching my boyfriend’s tan lines come in. But you know what? I’m still thinking about you and your problems. I’m always thinking about you and your problems–and isn’t that just like me? While I […]

Accept, Adjust, and Deal Remember how one time (or maybe two) you warned a guy (while remaining masturbation-positive) not to condition his body to come only in response to a particular kind of stimulation? I believe (’cause I looked ’em up) your exact words were, “If you hold your cock in a death grip every […]