Dan Savage

Hey, Everybody: I’m on vacation, so here’s a column from the infamous Savage Love archives. Next week: The first in my series examining American sleaze. My girlfriend and I only see each other on weekends. To overcome the overwhelming desire to jerk off during the week, I have discovered that I get great pleasure urinating […]

I just finished reading your response to “Lonely and Suicidal,” the blue-collar man having a hard time meeting women in the San Francisco Bay Area. (LAS is the guy who threatened to kill you, Dan, if you made fun of him, remember?) In your response, you stated that perhaps LAS’ inability to meet women in […]

My problem isn’t very amusing, but I hope you’ll print it anyway. My seven-year relationship has come to a messy end. My girlfriend and I are both deeply closeted and utterly codependent. Although we’ve had some fantastic times, she has also had a couple of flings with other women. I didn’t want an open relationship, […]

I am a 32-year-old white male, 6’1″, 220 lb. I am heterosexual, and live in the Bay Area, where I earn a passable blue-collar income. The problem: I have been involuntarily celibate for four years. I can’t even get a girl to go out with me. I’m always turned down with lines like, “Well, I’m […]

I was really surprised at the advice you gave to Orgasmless in Seattle, the horny girl going off to France. It was so sensible! I can’t help but think that if it had been a gay boy going to France, you would have told him to have as much fun as possible, just remember to […]

I’m leaving for France next month, and this is the first time I’m going to be on my own for an entire month with no parents, chaperones, or people who will gossip about me to my “nice” church-going family. Anyway, I am determined to get laid while I’m in France. It’s the other side of […]

My BF and I went to the gay pride celebrations in New York City last weekend. Toward the end of the pier dance, a lot of people were turning the event into a “grope-a-nanza,” which was made easy by the jam-packed conditions. I was standing behind my BF and he was pressed tight against the […]

I’m the creative type: I write, I draw, I compose. Mostly, though, I cartoon. And, oh yes, I’m a fetishist–nothing illegal, but still unusual. (Look up “maeiusophilia,” if you must know.) I do a lot of erotic (by my standards) artwork, and it’s a shame to keep these drawings to myself. All fetishes now have […]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years. He has been a programmer for as long as I have known him, which has meant dealing with him occasionally not sleeping for four days straight, him being on call for work 24 hours a day, and programming breakthroughs coming to him during intimate moments. […]

Why don’t you take advantage of e-mail technology? Instead of publishing a single response to a letter you received (probably via e-mail!), why don’t you send a response directly to the person with the problem? Then wait for the advice-seeker to respond, and publish the whole back-and-forth for your readers. That way we wouldn’t be […]

I’m stuck in a mentally and sometimes physically abusive relationship with a total cunt. She’s whaled on me before in drunken rages, but I’ve never hit her back because I just can’t hit a chick. She’s only a cunt when she’s drunk, and that’s only some of the time. The rest of the time she’s […]