Reality star gets more attention. Great work, everyone. Mike Coppola / Getty Images Entertainment Hi everyone, and welcome back to The Trash Report, where I sift through some really very dark and depressing news to bring you a few juicy odds and ends and then add my cute commentary to hopefully bring a little bit […]
Elinor Jones
Elinor Jones writes the gossip column, THE TRASH REPORT, as well as movie reviews, and dinosaur stuff. She likes your lipstick.
Posted inGossip
An Almost-Naked Man, a Haunted Church, and Rachel McAdams Existing
If Rachel McAdams had teamed up with Keanu Reeves back in 2015, the world could’ve taken a completely different trajectory 🙁 Rich Polk / Getty Images Entertainment HELLO friends, enemies, and people I’m ambivalent about, and welcome to another edition of THE TRASH REPORT, where I frolic through the latest in news and gossip and […]
Posted inGossip
Biden in Portland, Woman in an Outhouse, and Ferris Bueller in His Sister
Nobody puts baby in a corner…unless the baby is Matthew Broderick. The LIFE Picture Collection / Getty Images Hey besties, the sun is shining and the dumpsters are full; dive in with me with this, your latest edition of… THE TRASH REPORT. Let Us Be Awkward Hypocrites Over Here Alone Please Portland was thrust into […]
Posted inGossip
Planned Parenthood, People for Portland, and Corpses (Both Current and Ancient)
ELON MUSK: Men would literally rather spend 43 billion dollars on an app than go to therapy. Courtesy CNN Welcome, friends, to another edition of The Trash Report, where I cherry-pick the latest in news and gossip so I can write about things that you might enjoy. All you have to do is keep reading, […]
Posted inGossip
On Ghosts and Gubernatorial Candidates
What does the fox say? Probably “GRRRRRR I CRAVE HUMAN FLESH.” JMrocek / iStock / Getty Images Plus Happy New Week, friends, and welcome to another round of gossip and garbage from yours truly. To clarify, it’s not my trash; I am merely your guide on this journey. I’m actually very careful about how much […]
Posted inGossip
Bad Celebrities and Good Animals (Also, Scary Animals!)
“I have lived through 12 different presidential administrations.” DenisTangneyJr / GETTY IMAGES Happy Monday, and welcome to another edition of The Trash Report, where I rummage around the back alleys of the internet to turn another man’s news trash into our reading treasure. About the Oscars (But Not That Thing) It’s been one hell of […]
Posted inGossip
Good Shade, Bad Vibes, and Ugly Shoes
Racist baby vs. anti-racist baby. Win McNamee/Getty Images HELLO, and welcome back to The Trash Report, where I will serve as your human raccoon to sift through the dumpsters and bring you all the best in gossip, gross-outs, nonsense, and no-thank-yous. Mmm, and she’s mighty rank this week. Let’s dig in! Ted Cruz: National Garbage […]
Posted inGossip
Elk Outrage, Horny Mature Whales, and GOP Baby-Nappers!
Meet Oregon’s favorite horny whale, Orange Knuckles! Larry Rains / iStock / Getty Images Hi there! I think we all had a good time with the inaugural Trash Report last week, so I’ve written another one and I hope it puts a little zig in your zag. A little cream in your coffee. A little […]
Posted inGossip
All the Cool Kids Had COVID, Avril Lavigne’s “Complicated” B-day, and Love in the Floral Aisle of Trader Joe’s
Avril Lavigne: “You know what’s complicated? The grueling passage of time.” Anna Webber / Getty Images Happy Monday, everyone! It’s me, Elinor Jones. As we all know, this online content experience formerly known as “a newspaper” does a helluva job reporting on the news, be it local, national, global, or the entirety of space and […]
Posted inTheater & Performance
Theater Review: Hedwig and the Angry Inch Returns to the Ellyn Bye and to Rocking Your Face Off
Delphon Curtis Jr. in Hedwig and the Angry Inch, during the sold out January 2020 staging. Photo by Owen Carey/Courtesy of Portland Center Stage at The Armory In 2020, Portland Center Stage’s Hedwig and the Angry Inch nailed it. It nailed it and then put a ton of glitter on that nail. It nailed it […]
Posted inNews
Good Afternoon News: Mayor Fires Off New Homeless Camping Ban, Portland’s Rocketing Traffic Deaths, and Angry Mob Still Mad at Pence
The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support! Ten Portlanders have already been killed by drivers in January. PBOT Happy […]
Posted inNews
Good Afternoon, News: Brown’s Final “State of the State,” Wheeler’s Emergency Homeless Rule, and a Dog That Looks Like Will Ferrell
The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support! Mayor Wheeler announces yet another new rule directed at the houseless. Alex […]