Support Smart, Local Journalism
Make a Small Monthly Donation

Give now

columns
Posted inComedy

Everything as Fuck

Hitting the Brakes on August
Avatar photo Ian Karmel

Bad news, everyone. It’s fucking August already. It’s summer’s Sunday. Those gut-punch back-to-school commercials are already in heavy rotation, with children engaged in the highest act of betrayal: appearing (FOR THE CAMERA) to be excited about new clothes from Target. I’m a 31-year-old man and those commercials still bum me out. I think, perhaps, they […]

Posted inI, Anonymous

I, Anonymous

Shavings of Me

ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO, I started saving my finger and toenail clippings. At first I put them in an old Dixie cup, but when that got too full, I doubled down and kept it going, putting them into a larger mason jar. Now that jar is almost full. I’ve contemplated through the years what to […]

Posted inI, Anonymous

I, Anonymous

Love and Gasoline

WELL, AS I CAME AROUND to assist you with filling your work van, I had to look up as you opened the door and climbed out to pump your own gas. What a sight you were, climbing out of the van. Such a statuesque posture. You knew it was diesel and you could do it […]

Gift this article