UPDATE! Sorry about today’s lack of Blogtowniness, but Arctic Apocalypse ’08 temporarily knocked out our intertubes. We rejoin Blogtown already in progress. … a candidate for date rape! HA! HA! HAAAAAAA! Ahhhhhh… anyway. Along that same “vein” here’s an entertainingly creepy infomercial where a hypnotist/date rapist tells us how self-hypnosis can cause you to get […]
Drunk
Posted inFashion
Behind the Scenes
UPDATE! This event was canceled due to the weather. BOOO! If you’re planning to venture out into the elements this weekend (I can’t imagine how else we’re supposed to finish our shopping and shipping), consider popping into the ooncey warmth of Aura for makeup, hair products, and vodka. It’s “Behind the Scenes,” billed as an […]
Posted inDrunk
Sneak Peek at This Week’s Feature
I wrote a piece for the forthcoming issue on the forthcoming smoking ban, which goes into effect January 1. I had to share this last minute addition to the piece—which is a Q&A addressing all of your smoking ban questions. Question: How the hell is the Horse Brass going to get the nicotine off of […]
Posted inDrunk
“Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis”… and Jon Hamm!
Need a winter blast… of awkwardness? Here’s another great installment of the always hilarious “Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis.” In this episode, Zach makes Jon Hamm of Mad Men extremely uncomfortable… and ends up sneezing into his crotch. Like, a lot.
Posted inBooks
Wordsmiths, Come Hither.
I get the feeling that for some reason most of my acquaintances are convinced they could do my job better than I do (I like to think it’s because I make it look easy). Now there’s a chance for all you haters to put your money where your silent judging is, and bid now on […]
Posted inDrunk
December Boozy Goodness: Filthy Cheap Auction Items
Giving gifts to drunkards really isn’t too hard. Basically, all you need to do is give them booze, or something to put their booze in. But preferably, you give them booze. Still, there’s not a lot of adventure in throwing a bottle of bottom shelf scotch on your significant others lap after they’ve passed out […]
Posted inFood and Drink
Cooking With Coolio
Why the hell didn’t anyone tell me that Coolio has a cooking show? Why? I had to read it on Time’s website. TIME for god’s sakes. We’re talking Coolio the self proclaimed “ghetto witchdoctor superstar chef,” a couple of barely dressed women who hang around his kitchen known as “Sauce Girls,” spices in dime bags […]
Posted inDrunk
Your Boozy Girlfriend
She enjoys short walks to dark bars, the way your eyes look through a shot of whiskey, and sometimes just staying home to drink a quiet fifth in front of the fireplace. She’s hard to shop for because her bar is stocked and she doesn’t like jewelry (she’d just lose it in a drunken stupor, […]
Posted inDrunk
Merry Christmas… NOW DIE!!!!
You know, I’ve been looking for the perfect X-mas present for all those people who have been pissing me off, and at last? I’VE FOUND IT! It’s the newest product from the #1 military contractor Lockheed Martin, and is aptly named the “Multiple Kill Vehicle.” Though I’m slightly upset that I can’t ride this thing, […]
Posted inFood and Drink
Amazing Race Through Alder Carts
Did you watch last night’s finale of the Amazing Race? Oddly enough, it ended in our fair city and included a mad dash along the food carts in Alder street and an even madder dash to VooDoo Doughnuts. This actually reminds me of times I’ve been frantic to get to VooDoo… Oh, and someone should […]
Posted inDrunk
Last Night’s Mercury “Holiday” Party
It’s been mentioned on Blogtown several times today, and I’m sure you probably wish you’d been there. Scant evidence of the evening remains, but I’ve found a video that matches, almost perfectly, my fuzzy mental reconstruction of the karaoke fueled insanity. What follows is likely the most accurate depiction that can be found after an […]
Posted inFashion
Breeze Block Gallery Re-Opens Tonght
Migrating from its perch on NE Alberta, Breeze Block Gallery reopens tonight with a store-wide sale, the work of seven artists (Stephen Williams, Steve Mathews, Tiago de Jerk, Jason Graham, Garrett Price, Jason Vivona, and Raskoe), and DJ T. Rust. Come see the brand-new alley-side space (1847 E Burnside) freshly festooned with murals and spray […]