Letters

THE ONLY REASON TO GET UP IN THE MORNING TO WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY: I just thought you might get a kick out of knowing that the only reason I even bother to arise from my nice, warm bed on Thursday mornings is so I can rush to the coffee shop, get a Mercury, and read […]

ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER TO THE EDITOR: The question, “Does Portland need another hip weekly?” was answered for me after reading Monica Drake’s interview [“Support Your Local Sex Worker,” Sept 28]. There’s a skillful flow to her writing. She’s like a Teri Gross for the underground. I read her last piece on Teresa Dulce and walked […]

FALCONS DON’T MAKE HONEY TO THE EDITOR: Please inform Mr. Tejaratchi that falcons do not make honey. Honey is made by bees [From Where I Sit, Sept 28]. He makes the statement that “they (falcons) also make the sweetest honey” in the second sentence of the second paragraph of what I presume he thinks is […]

THE “REAL” REAL PILLS? DEAR EDITOR: I am writing in response to the following snippet from your publication [Up & Coming, Aug 17]: “Portland’s The Pills recently had to change their name to The Real Pills because a Boston band called The Pills already existed. I actually saw The Boston Pills two years ago in […]

DON’T YOU “HATI HATI” US! TO THE EDITOR: Last week, I read with some sadness, Mercury’s views on Portland Police Bureau Officer David Barrios’ ongoing shoving match with his command, over his hair [“One Day at a Time,” in which Barrios is being forced to wear his hair in a bun, August 31]. In this […]

TERRY GROB, R.I.P. TO THE MERCURY: You guys are great for printing the nice blurb about Terry Grob [Obituary, Sept 7]. He was amazing. Thank you. Alex Steininger THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE DIRTY TO THE EDITOR: Your article on body piercing [“Dirty Needles,” Aug 31] made an important first step. Here’s what was […]

WHERE CAN ONE FIND COLA-FLAVORED CONDOMS? HEY MARIE: I just want to let you know I really dig your column [“Dating Tips for Horny Boys,” August 31]! The condom reviews were so funny, I think I’ll have to try a couple of them. One question–where do you find cola flavored condoms? Pop and latex do […]

THE MERCURY: NOW AVAILABLE IN A PRISON NEAR YOU! TO THE EDITOR: Thank you for your kind benevolence. Monday through Friday mail calls are like a Las Vegas Christmas and now, once a week, I hit the jackpot! I’m glad Portland finally got the Mercury. I think back on how the Stranger added a festive […]

WAITASECOND… IS SHE BEING SARCASTIC? DEAR SIRS: I feel I owe D.K. Holm a profound apology. He raised my consciousness with his review of A Piece of Cake. [Theater, July 27] I can’t believe that me, an apparently ignorant, stupid lady, actually loved the show. It just shows how culturally bankrupt I am. To think […]

ANN ROMANO: EXHIBITING SUPERLATIVE SKILLS IN THE AREA OF WRITING DEAR ANN: You’re the best fuckin’ writer in Portland. Absolutely hysterical. Paul M JAMIE S. RICH: COULD USE IMPROVEMENT TO THE EDITOR:[Re: “Cut My Hair,” Jamie S. Rich, August 10] That has to be the crappiest chapter of a published book on the LA punk […]

GIVE HEROIN ADDICTS THE RESPECT THEY DESERVE! TO THE EDITOR: The suggestion to “drift off into the land of nod with a syringe-full of smack” [My, What a Busy Week, August 3] was fuckin’ lame. Had I read it a month ago, I would have thought it was stupid. But to read that in the […]

SEAN GOT BRODIE’S DAD MAD! TO THE EDITOR: Thanks for revealing what I always hoped would happen. [Re: From Where I Sit, Sean Tejaratchi, July 27, in which the art director berates the Mercury‘s newest sales assistant, Brodie Hylton] My son, Brodie, now wears fashionable short pants. This is very comforting to his parents, I […]