There’s really no other way to introduce this video: Here is an “Elmo Live” doll and “Tickle Me Extreme Cookie Monster” having vigorous, enthusiastic sex in a toy box. Oh, and by the way… the neighbors just pounded on the wall and screamed, “If you guys don’t calm it down, we’re gonna call the cops!”
Oh, You Kids!
Posted inNews
And Now, Perhaps the Finest St. Paddy’s Day News Blooper You Will Ever See
In this sure-to-be-a-classic news blooper, a reporter introduces… ummm… someone who is doing something to her vagina… ummm… in front of a bunch of kids. HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY, EVERYBODY! UPDATE: The video was taken down… but here’s the money shot.
Posted inTV
Netflix’ New Richie Rich Series May Be Your New WORST THING EVER
For some reason I never had any trouble with Richie Rich comics growing up. Maybe it was because of his pudding face, maybe it was because Richie never seemed to draw any attention to the fact he had all that money, and always looked a little surprised by it. Maybe it was because he was […]
Posted inTransportation
Youth Spent on a Greyhound Bus
Photo: Bobby Abrahamson THE SUMMER I turned 19, I met a young man on a bus who was traveling from New Mexico (where he’d spent the week with his father and stepmother, kicking a heroin habit) to Hartford, Connecticut (where he was heading, to score some heroin). The boy described to me, in fine libidinal […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Your Christmas Wasn’t as Good as This
This is hilarious, and yet makes me despondent… because I know I will never experience a reaction as pure and as joyful as the one this teenager has after receiving One Direction tickets for Christmas. (I might for an N*SYNC reunion, though!)
Posted inTV
RIP Fraggle Rock‘s “Doc”
Courtesy Muppet Wiki Fraggle Rock‘s Doc & Sprocket Gerard Parkes, best known as “Doc” from the Jim Henson kids show Fraggle Rock passed away on Sunday at the age of 90 from natural causes. A prolific actor in Canada with many roles under his belt, his biggest fame came from playing the kindly inventor on […]
Posted inComedy
Jimmy Kimmel Disguises Himself as a Talking Pig (Also, Kids Are Gullible)
For reasons only he can divine, Jimmy Kimmel has his excellent make-up artists disguise him as a talking pig, and then interviews some kids to see if they will sell him out to his dickhead cowboy owner. As always, children are nothing but a disappointment. (This is heee-larious, btw! Watch!)
Posted inPuppy
“Apparently Kid” Makes First Commercial; is Apparently Adorable
At first I was like, “Oh, apparently they’re making the ‘Apparently Kid’ do commercials now? Apparently that’s a crock of shit!” But then I watched it, and apparently I was wrong—because the “Apparently Kid” is apparently more than adorable… especially when he’s being trampled by a gang of equally adorable puppies. Apparently.
Posted inVideo Games
Today in “Hey Old Person, You’re OLD!”
To watch this video of teenagers reacting to an original Nintendo NES player is the same sensation as lying in a grave with someone shoveling dirt on your face. Watch. Yeah… well! Screw YOU, damn kids! And stay off my lawn!!
Posted inTV
Nathan for You: “Are You a Baby??”
Fans of comedy and manipulating hapless children will LOVE the following clip from tonight’s season-ending episode of Comedy Central’s Nathan for You (10:30 pm). Here, Nathan convinces a skeptical toy-maker that the only way to sell his boring toys is to convince children that if they own one, they’re “not babies.” Nathan convenes a child […]
Posted inMusic
Hell Hath No Fury Like an Early-’80s Teenager Whose Father Recorded Over Her VHS Tape of Beloved MTV Videos
Anyone who knows me well has heard a million stories about the hilarity of my beloved friend Mindy. Here is a recently unearthed letter written by Mindy when she was 13 years old, after her father recorded over her MTV videos with the Larry Holmes v. Gerry Cooney fight. Bow down, bitches.
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Idiot to Television News Crew: “I didn’t make this kid pass out on my floor.”
This Fox 17 report of a 2,000 person party in West Michigan takes a turn into parody-level bafflement when 20-year-old James Taylor (!?) tells the camera crew “I didn’t force anything down anybody’s throat. I didn’t make anybody stay here until 7 am or 11 or whatever time it was when everybody finally left. I […]