One Day at a Time

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 29 Poor, poor Wilmer Valderrama. The star of That ’70s Show (he’s the foreign-looking one) is about to learn one of life’s hardest lessons: Beware the wrath of a Lohan scorned! According to TeenHollywood.com, Wilmer can expect an emotional ass beating courtesy of his former girlfriend and reigning teen queen Lindsay Lohan. As […]

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 22 Call it pre-holiday depression or a shortage of appropriate mood elevators, but everyone in the world gleefully took part in what we like to call “BAD MOOD WEEK.” First up, a group of furiously heterosexual Greek lawyers have threatened to sue Warner Brothers studio and director Oliver Stone for making legendary warrior […]

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 15 It’s time once again to play One Day at a Time’s favorite game, “WHICH IS WORSE?” Today you have two scenarios to choose from: 1) Being the wounded Iraqi insurgent inside a Fallujah mosque who was shot pointblank in the head by a U.S. Marine, or 2) Sitting in a coffee shop […]

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 8 Write today’s date down in your diaries, kids. Because this week will heretofore be known in the history books as “The Week of the Quitter.” Now, it’s one thing to quit one’s job, and quite another to quit one’s job and act like the rest of us should give a shit. Case […]

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 1 As you know, One Day at a Time is your one-stop superstore for the latest in gossipy celebrity gab–however, as we are currently suffering from a heightened state of “voter anxiety,” we can hardly be blamed if our attention lies elsewhere. For example, we are currently going back and forth on which […]

MONDAY, OCTOBER 25 Featuring the “Whoopsy-Daisy!” of the week, it’s One Day at a Time, your clearinghouse for Hollyweird gossip, political scandal, and PMS-induced musings on the global condition. This week’s “Whoopsy-Daisy!” award goes to (surprise!) the Bush Administration for rushing into Iraq and forgetting to guard the Al-Qaqaa facility–which we learned today contained nearly […]

MONDAY, OCTOBER 18 In the world of celebrity “burns,” the best comeback of the weekend has to go to the Daily Show‘s Jon Stewart, who called conservative CNN screed Tucker Carlson “a dick” on national TV. The burn took place on Friday’s edition of Crossfire–which is basically a platform for screechy Republicans to complain about […]

MONDAY, OCTOBER 11 First, a fond farewell to actor Christopher Reeve, whose death over the weekend reminded us that one can either fold to tragedy or make the world a better place because of it. Want to carry on his memory? Vote for John Kerry on November 2nd, who refuses to let antiquated morality get […]

MONDAY, OCTOBER 4 Two topics on the minds of gabby tattletales this week: Milkshakes and underpants–and weirdly enough, both stories involve Britney Spears. The newly married Spears (and yes, Brit and her Vanilla Ice-ish hubby Kevin Federline are officially married and now have a legal license to prove it) has a brand new hobby: throwing […]

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 27 Stop the presses, and alert the world media! Billions of people around the globe stopped whatever stupid thing they were doing today to listen to Britney Spears’ critically important announcement that, at long last, she has penned “the most amazing letter [she] has ever written.” According to Britain’s OK! magazine, Britney’s manifesto […]

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 20 THEY’RE RUINING THE HOLY SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE. And we’re not talking about gays and lesbians, either! The troublemakers are no other than clearly insane newly married heterosexuals Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. The hub-bub broke early this week when details began leaking about Brit and Kev’s quickie weekend marriage. According to pop […]

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 13 We don’t know about you, but we don’t want to live in a world where teen queens Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan aren’t scratching each other’s eyes out. Obviously sensing our frustration, actress and wanna-be pop star Hilary ended the yearlong truce with Lindsay by opening a whole new can of bitchy […]