You know you’re in for an entertaining, and enlightening I, Anonymous when it starts off with a sentence like this: It has been well documented that the first 13 families of reptilian alien culture bred with early humans. And believe me when I say, it just gets better from there. Read the rest here, and […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day
Once again a cultural icon dies—which means a bunch of know-nothing dum-dums appropriate the person in three… two… one… cue this I, Anonymous Blog of the day called “Purple Poser.” When I heard the news, I had to inform all of my friends. My friends… those who are around my age range and grew up […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
This person rented a house from someone wearing a fedora. That should’ve been a BIG RED FLAG right away! We were so rushed to find a rental house in this crazy Portland market that $1200 for a 2 bedroom house in SE sounded pretty great. We gave you money, signed the “lease” you wrote yourself […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
There’s nothing more annoying than the following: 1) People who sign off on emails with “Cheers!” and 2) former drug dealers trying to sell us meth. Look. I used to love buying meth from you. You had great shit, your prices were extremely reasonable, and you were easy to meet up with. It has been […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
So… IT WAS YOU! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it all along! DAMN YOU, I, ANONYMOUS! Damn you to hellllll. I was the one who clipped their fingernails in the conference room. I let my nail clippings fly all over the table and chairs, and when our next meeting was had, I […]
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Today on Craigslist: A Fully Animated Six-Foot-Tall Talking Wizard
via Craigslist Guys. I’m just going to let this person from Beaverton selling a fully animated six-foot-tall talking wizard speak for himself. Via Craigslist: For sale is one fully animated wizard in a purple robe and matching wizard’s hat.This guy is absolutely amazing and has several moving parts.Recently upgraded with new motors and electronics.The eyes […]
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I, Anonymous of the Week: Register Your Car, Newbie!
Kalah Allen [Got a rant or confession? Drop it off (anonymously!) in the I, Anonymous Blog!—eds.] YES, you luuuuuuuuuv Portland. You even bought the sticker of the outline of the state of Oregon with the little green heart over Portland and slapped it on your rear windshield! You can’t stop talking about Portland. It’s so […]
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Today in Dum-Dums: Man Abandons Truck on New Sellwood Bridge
Hurrah! The new Sellwood Bridge opened today! Aaaaaand it only took one dumb dum-dum to fuck up a good thing. According to multiple reports, traffic was a goddamn nightmare around the new bridge thanks to (I’m going to be charitable here) a very confused person who thought the sidewalk was the road, and got his […]
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Essential Pollution Controls Lacking at Two Glass Plants Blamed For Cadmium Emissions
Glass powder accumulating on the roof of Bullseye Glass in 2013. The company sent workers up weekly to clean up the powder. THE SOUTHEAST PORTLAND glass studio that state environmental regulators believe emitted two toxic carcinogens for years or decades doesn’t use a crucial pollution control device on its furnaces. And it’s not the only […]
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For Your Nightmares: Cryptomaster behemoth
A monster is lurking deep in the forests of Southwestern Oregon. No, it’s not a rogue chupacabra visiting form Latin America. No, it’s not Bigfoot. It’s a daddy longlegs. The Cryptomaster behemoth, with a body 4 millimeters wide, dwarfs other members of its suborder—called Laniatores. James Starrett, an entomologist at the University of California, Riverside […]
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Homeless Advocates Almost Weren’t Invited to an Upcoming Meeting On Homelessness Because it Might “Take Attention” From Middle Class
Dirk VanderHart Portland police and city employees sweeping camps near the Springwater Corridor in 2014 One week ago, a collection of SE Portland neighborhood advocates met to discuss the ongoing difficulties neighbors are reporting with homeless camps along the Springwater Corridor. In particular, camping and problematic activity near the Cartlandia food cart pod, where the […]