Though I am loathe to admit it, the Mercury has hired someone who has little to no regard for the English language. (And no, I’m not talking about the entire staff.) I’m talking about sales account executive Marissa who said, and I quote, “I luv 2 abbrev e-thing!” (Translated: I love to abbreviate everything.) That’s […]
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Posted inPolitics
Andrew Breitbart’s Dangerous Insanity: The Video
Towleroad posted this video over the weekend, and it shouldn’t just disappear into the webby ether: far-right-wing pundit Andrew Breitbart, speaking at Tea Party event in Lexington, MA on September 16, 2011, and dreaming of civil war. As Towleroad’s Penn Bullock writes, “On the face of it, Breitbart’s admission demands a congressional or criminal investigation. […]
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Four Funny Things from the Rodeo
Alex Z. and I are at the 101st annual Pendleton Round-Up, the historic rodeo that feels like Oregon’s Mardi Grad. The small town is overrun with tight-Wranglered cowboys and friendly strangers who will give you and five friends lift to the bar in the back of their pickup truck. After pulling in last night, I […]
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Embarrassing, Embarrassing Dad: The Seal
Dad, it was one thing to get drunk at our annual Christmas parties and run around wearing mom’s bra on the outside of your shirt. It was another thing for you to loudly sing Cher’s “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves” whenever my cool friends came over. But your poor imitations of a seal? Dad… STOP IT!!! […]
Posted inTV
Move Over, “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah”!
There’s some new pro-Semitic musical pandering in town! Dear G-d, thank you, Everything Is Terrible.
Posted inMusic
Adventures in Publicist FAIL
Some notes about this email: When the publicist mentions “Andrew” I believe they think that I’m Andrew R. Tonry (Zoltar finally made my one wish come true!) and despite what the opening sentence says, I have never talked with this person. More importantly, I have no need for Tone® Body Wash. My skin is fucking […]
Posted inCops
Blogtown Challenge! Watch This Video and Guess Who Got Charged With What
On May 31, a passerby shot some footage of a fight at Portland State University between a musician selling CDs and another man who apparently didn’t care for the music the first man was selling. Eventually, after filming stops, the cops got involved, reports were taken, and charges were filed. Your mission! In the comments […]
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Found on My Hard Drive
A text document entitled “A list of awesome movie titles,” which I have no recollection of writing. I now present it to you, unedited, in its entirety. • Boat Cop• Space Dragon Who Solves Crimes• Time-Travelin’ Boat Cop• A Punch to the Face in the Dark• Big 2: Larger ‘n Life!• Wise-Crackin’ Pterodactyl• Ninja Dog• […]
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The Worst Flashmob Ever Will Appear in 15 Minutes
Steer clear of Pioneer Square, everyone. “Popular and functional beverage” manufacturer Neuro is convening a flash mob there at 5pm. The flash mob is a totally underground-grassroots surprise, which is why Neuro sent out a press release about it and hired a dance troupe! More questionable than the “flash” and “mob” qualities of this flashmob […]
Posted inComedy
Today in Disappointing Celebrity News
Tracy Morgan can apparently transform into a totally homophobic asshole. Even worse, it’s apparently the opposite of funny when he does it. Eyewitness Kevin Rogers, Truth Wins Out reports, “describes how Morgan’s entire demeanor changed as he allegedly claimed that being gay is a choice, that homosexuality is something that kids learn from the media, […]
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BlytheCon Cometh
Have you heard of Blythe dolls? You know, Blythe dolls: Zoe Favole Think they’re creepy? Did you know they have a string on the back of their heads that you can pull to change their eye color? The Blythe community is coming to Portland, which is the site of BlytheCon 2011, a worldwide convention of […]
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Bees Take Manhattan
Not to give anything away to totally give away the content of this week’s issue, which is going to be in your hot little hands today or tomorrow anyway, it features an article written by a rather sassy commercial beekeeper who answers many questions people commonly have about bees/beekeeping. Including why on occasion I come […]