Doitchin Krasev—formerly the man formerly known as Jason Evers, an identity fraudster who worked as an inspector for the OLCC—is getting married in prison (wow, that’s the best lead I’ll write all day). Krasev stole the identity of a toddler who died in 1982, and racked up a successful career before being busted for forging […]
Women In Prison
Posted inMovies & TV
Teaser for Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch.
Below is the teaser for Sucker Punch, the latest from Zack Snyder, the world’s best music video director. It looks like what’d happen if Casshern had sex with Sky Captain and all three of Charlie’s angels and then they got in a fight with Reign of Fire—in other words, like something that could either be […]
Posted inMedia
Today in Unsurprising Headlines
Anyone up for a Caged Heat remake? (Video NSFW… but heeeeee-LARIOUS!)
Posted inWomen In Prison
This is Why Blogtown is Not a Video Blog
If you somehow make it through the entire 2:23 of this mesmerizing video you will want to close your computer, go outside, and hope that you never have to hear people say anything into a camera ever again. Seriously, who actually watches little-girl-video-blogs on a regular basis? Don’t they just talk about really boring stuff?
Posted inWomen In Prison
Worst Night Ever, All Night Long
Congratulations, Blogtown: I had a terrible Saturday night. You overwhelmingly voted for, and I endured, A New Day Rising, the overnight hippie rave in, um, the magickal wilderness, which turned out to be somewhere between Estacada and Molalla—hard to tell exactly where you are when after driving 10 miles into the increasingly unpopulated forest your […]
Posted inWomen In Prison
I am Now a Doppelgänger Expert
Though I was just made aware of this, I am apparently some sort of doppelgänger expert or genius. How do I know this? Because under the “Evil Twin” entry over at Wikipedia, there is an extensive quote FROM ONE OF MY TV COLUMNS that explains the difference between an “evil twin” and a “doppelgänger” (and […]
Posted inVideo
Lady Gaga and Beyonce Get Ridiculous
I’m more or less indifferent to the pop culture creation that is Lady Gaga—I dislike her music, yet I enjoy her odd performance art—but I doubt you’ll see a more entertaining video than her Beyonce collaboration, “Telephone.” Thanks to some deep-pocketed major label cash, and plenty of blatant product placement, this nine-and-a-half minute video (!) […]
Posted inTV
Lost‘s Michael Emerson… in a Prison Training Video?
You know actor Michael Emerson as the unblinking Ben Linus on TV’s Lost. But apparently one of his earlier acting gigs was in prison training videos. Check out this one where a young Emerson tries to talk down a viciously spitting inmate. (Waitasecond… what if this isn’t a prison training video at all, but just […]
Posted inWomen In Prison
I’ll get you next time, Oregon History Museum
Yaaawwwwwwnnnnnnnnnn. That’s a one word review of the Oregon History Museum’s current exhibit “Centuries of Progress: American World’s Fairs, 1853-1982” (running through February 3rd). To be fair, it wasn’t designed by the Oregon Historical Society (the organization that’s the brain of the museum). It’s a pre-fab traveling display organized by Exhibits USA. On the other […]
Posted inWomen In Prison
In Jail? Call Jesus Christ Bail Bonds!
Look. I’m tired of bailing your sorry ass out of the pokey every time you run afoul of the law. So instead of me ponying up MY hard earned cash, why don’t you call someone who (apparently) REALLY cares? (That would be Baltimore’s Bishop Barry of Jesus Christ Bail Bonds.) Added bonus: He sounds like […]
Posted inMeet the Contenders: Mayor
“It’s Not a Job—It’s an ADVENTURE!”
Related question: So if I get arrested by Steven Seagal, will the Mercury post my bail? Thanks for making my goddamn week, Warming Glow. DECEMBER CANNOT COME FAST ENOUGH.
Posted inWomen In Prison
Forget the Terminators… FEAR THE ANIMATRONIC MONKEYS!
Okay, the first thing we have to do is go find that computer programmer who works for Skynet and kill him… because DUDE! We cannot abide a future that includes animatronic monkeys!! Next thing you know, they’ll be throwing their animatronic shit.