U SUCK
WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY—Sandra rocks [“I Dislike You, Sandra Bullock!” I Love Television, March 4]!! She does not have a mustache. She has accomplished more in her life then u have. All u do is write stupid columns in a free paper. Get over yourself.
-Amy Brown
NO COMPLAINTS
I Anon wrote, “at least my lies were more interesting…” [“A Challenge,” I, Anonymous, March 11]. Let readers be the judge of that. Your dog switcheroo one was boring and totally uninspired [“Doggy Do-Over,” I, Anonymous, Feb 11]. If that’s any indication of your style, I’ll bet you also wrote at least one of the recent bodily fluid-revenge ones, which in my personal opinion were juvenile and predictable. This longtime reader disagrees that the column has to be about “Portland’s wildest secrets.” That only invites embellishment and outright lying—and even then, no real imagination. They say there’s a time and a place for everything. This column is one place where complaining and “venting” are fully appropriate. This doesn’t mean it always has to include those things, but you can bet that when it does, it seems like some people inevitably respond with complaints about the “bitching.” Feeble, repetitive bitching about other people’s bitching—kind of hypocritical.
-posted by geyser on portlandmercury.com
PAINT JOB
Sarah [Mirk], please don’t repeat the PR consultant-created lie that the new design [of the Columbia River Crossing] is a 10-lane bridge [“Riding the Gravy Train,” News, March 11]. It’s a 12-lane bridge painted to be 10 lanes, so they can wait until the political pressure is there and repaint it to 12 lanes.
-posted by No CRC on portlandmercury.com
SEX AND CONFUSION
There was an underlying point to this that at least some of you are grasping [“Portland’s Sexiest People,” Feature, March 11]. And yes, naturally they are a couple of white hipster/hippies (whatever), which is hardly shocking considering the publication. Basically I see hundreds of people that resemble them every week… stupid little bearded guys, chicks with bobs and funny clothes—c’est la vie, no? Either way I think they are representative of Portland (good or bad) and I think even one of them is ACTUALLY FROM HERE! No way! However [previous commenter] “Burtles,” your assertion that everyone in Portland “is healthy, natural, happy, and UNPRETENTIOUS” is either one of the most ironically funny statements of all time or you are confused. I would love to know what areas of our fair town you frequent (I pretty much know already), purely from a cultural anthropology standpoint of course.
-posted by The Showstopper on portlandmercury.com
MILLION-DOLLAR IDEAS
I’d like to raise a peep about the bike plan by reiterating my previous comment—WTF [“Bottoming Out,” Hall Monitor, March 11]?!? Six hundred million dollars? Did Dr. Evil come up with that sum? Can we not make biking more accessible to Portlanders for LESS than $600 million? Or is $300 million earmarked for consultants, à la CRC [Columbia River Crossing] budgeting genius? It’s like a bad joke—I’m just waiting for someone to say “Gotcha! We really only need $20 million, but we knew no one would go for it, so we started out with $600 million.” But even then I’d say, “WTF?!? Twenty million for a bike plan?”
-posted by nibbler83 on portlandmercury.com
WTF INDEED, nibbler83, W… T… F… indeed. For pointing out the importance of questioning government spending, you win letter of the week and, with it, two passes to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where eating the food will make you feel like a million bucks.
Oh no, my name shall live in infamy due to publication. A point I failed to make is the piece I commented upon did a nice job of selecting people who are appealing enough to the Mercury’s demographic without presenting something unreachable to the average reader. And I agree with Ms Brown, back of Sandra Bullock! I have heard (in the strictest confidence of course) that she is backing out of Miss Congeniality 3 thanks to YOU Romano. I hope you’re proud of yourself you home wrecking hussy. I do find your title as relates to my little posting somewhat amusing Mercury. I myself am not in the least confused about sex, nor my personal identity. I dare say some of the readers of your fine publication are not quite as fortunate. The whole emo/hipster (whatever) thing does tend to blur gender to a large degree. Hell, looking at some of these kids it ‘s pretty much guesswork. I suppose it really does’nt matter as long as they get that job at American Apparel
YES showstopper! I couldn’t have said it better myself (considering I am a bad writer). “Portland’s Sexiest People”? Give me a break. The fact is, welcome to Portland. People here are so self-conscious and insecure that this is the image that the youth in Portland aspire to be. you are not accepted until you are cool and vice versa… This is the type of thing that makes me feel bad about living here. Would I be more comfortable in So California?
I’m sick and tired of hearing people like geyser complain about “I, Anonymous”. The column is there for WHATEVER people want to write in and complain about. And saying that what someone wrote in the column is a “lie” is ridiculous. How the fuck do you know if their story is true or not? Were you there at their house while it was happening? No, I didn’t think so. So shut the fuck up and read it (or don’t, if you’re gonna be such a whiny asshole about whatever is in the column). Like I said, the column is there for whatever people want to write in about and yes, there’s going to be lots of bitching and unpredictability in a column like this. But that’s what’s so great about “I, Anonymous”. It’s there for people to use and feel free to write what they like. People like you need to shut the fuck up and let people speak their minds!
Oh, and I agree with The Showstopper. I’m sick of Portland being infested with these hipsters who all look the same, act the same and are basically just that – THE SAME. It’s obnoxious as hell and they need to learn that looking like pretentious college kids isn’t going to get them anywhere in life.
Colleen, you don’t seem to know what you’re talking about. Most of what you’re ranting about doesn’t refute the points I was actually making. Instead it seems like you should direct this at the person who made up three and then wrote “A Challenge.” They were one of the many people who have bitched about all the “bitching” in the column. So you don’t need to tell me that “there’s going to be lots of bitching,” because that’s exactly one of the points I made, if you’d bother to read what I wrote.
I brought up lying in the column as a known problem because this person admitted to having done it three times recently. As for this week’s I,A, it just seems like more revenge bragging urban legend crap. There are several specific things in it that ring false to me, but it’s not worth dissecting. If you don’t have a reliable bullshit detector and insist on believe anything unless you see evidence to the contrary with your own two eyes, then you won’t go too far in this world.
Anyway thanks for your extreme hostility and your carelessly stupid take on what I said. If you think people should be able to speak their minds, then why do you tell me in the same sentence to “shut the fuck up”? Unlike you, I’m not trying to shut anyone up; I would just like to see a bit more variety represented in the column.
By the way, you and Showstopper need to let people dress the way they want. If we all through around mean judgments based on people’s looks about everyone (“stupid little bearded guys,”) then what do you think people would say about you?
Anyway, it’s funny that you cry conformity when you basically are ridiculing people for not conforming to your own aesthetic sense of what’s “hipster” and “pretentious.”
“Infested”? Give me a break. I’ll give you the same advice about Portland that you gave me about I Anon: the city is for however people want to dress and be, so shut the fuck up and live here or don’t, but don’t be such a whiny asshole about it.
Well genius I never said they could or could’nt dress a certain fashion, I simply made an observation. I personally largely don’t CARE what people have to say about my appearance. Which in and off itself is amusing, because here you are trying to be a internet tough guy, yet in reality were we having this conversation in person you would change your attitude swiftly. Finally what makes you think these tools represent Portland? 10% of it at best, and I have no problem with diversity. That’s the problem-those dorks are all the SAME! Finally, I truly hope you are female, because if you are not you have some serious issues and need to grow a pair.