Some people are threatened by kids, but this guy? HE IS PETRIFIED.

If you are the parent who DOESN’T has your children cover their coughs in public, please leave your sick and contagious kids at home you fucking chickenshit anus.

You shouldn’t have even have them if you aren’t going to do your job. What the fuck? And then touching everything in sight and contaminating everything ? leave the little shitstainer with another adult.

Thank you, Howard Hughes. Hey, do you YOU have a rant, confession, or irrational fear to share with the world? Drop it off in the I, Anonymous Blog—and don’t forget your hazmat suit.

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Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)