82nd Avenue of the Roses Parade Cancelled after Threats of Political Protests, Violence

Protests at a pro-Trump rally in Vancouver earlier this month
Protests at a pro-Trump rally in Vancouver earlier this month Doug Brown

***Update***

A statement from Direct Action Alliance, which had been planning a protest of the right wing marchers:

We are disappointed that the Avenue of Roses Parade has been cancelled. As members of this community, we prize our neighborhood events and support events that promote community.

Known members of neo-nazi and anti immigrant hate groups planned to attend the group that was being hosted by the Multnomah County Republicans at the parade. We intended to stand between them and those who they wanted to intimidate. We intended to block out their hate and shut down their violence.

They want to march in a family parade and normalize a man who bragged about sexually assaulting women; they want to march in our diverse community and normalize a man who wants to ban Muslims and build a wall between us and our neighbor, Mexico. They want to march as the Republican Party, but in their ranks are groups like the "Bible Believers", who have already come to this neighborhood to intimidate a local Latinex church and who were filmed assaulting an injured activist on the ground in Berkeley last week and were also filmed attacking a woman at PDX in January.

No Portland child will see a march in support of this fascist regime go unopposed.

We will always stand with our neighbors, we will always defend our community.


***Original post, 3:52 pm***

The 82nd Avenue of the Roses Parade scheduled for Saturday has been called off "following threats of violence during the parade by multiple groups planning to demonstrate at the event," the 82nd Avenue of Roses Business Association announced this afternoon.

"We can no longer guarantee the safety of our community," the group said. "We are deeply disappointed that the agendas of these outside groups have so regrettably impacted our community."

The conflict appears to surround the Multnomah County Republican Party (MCRP), which planned to march in the parade, the local "antifa" planning to disrupt them, and right wingers planning to thwart the the lefty protesters.

The MCRP, in the Facebook event page, called for people to join them in the parade while chastising left-leaning protests here in the Trump era (emphasis ours):

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The Best Parts of Trump's Trainwreck AP Interview

Do you want a Coke or anything?
"Do you want a Coke or anything?" Justin Sullivan / Staff

I mean, "best" is a relative term, right? You can read the whole monstrosity here. You know, if you feel like torturing yourself. If you don't want to suffer, here are the, um, highlights. I'm posting them two days behind the interview because that's how long it took me to force myself to read this word salad. I've had more cogent conversations with mildly bright three-year-olds. Here are the silliest parts of a very silly interview:

"A great foundation for future things":

TRUMP: I have great relationships with Congress. I think we're doing very well and I think we have a great foundation for future things. We're going to be applying, I shouldn't tell you this, but we're going to be announcing, probably on Wednesday, tax reform. And it's — we've worked on it long and hard. And you've got to understand, I've only been here now 93 days, 92 days. President Obama took 17 months to do Obamacare. I've been here 92 days but I've only been working on the health care, you know I had to get like a little bit of grounding right? Health care started after 30 day(s), so I've been working on health care for 60 days. ...You know, we're very close. And it's a great plan, you know, we have to get it approved.

The part that's a third-grade report on what a political party is:

TRUMP: So the Republican Party has various groups, all great people. They're great people. But some are moderate, some are very conservative. The Democrats don't seem to have that nearly as much. You know the Democrats have, they don't have that. The Republicans do have that. And I think it's fine.

The part where he interrupted the interview to offer the AP a Coke:

TRUMP: But things change. There has to be flexibility. Let me give you an example. President Xi, we have a, like, a really great relationship. For me to call him a currency manipulator and then say, "By the way, I'd like you to solve the North Korean problem," doesn't work. So you have to have a certain flexibility, Number One. Number Two, from the time I took office till now, you know, it's a very exact thing. It's not like generalities. Do you want a Coke or anything?

The "bigness" of the government:

TRUMP. It's massive. And every agency is, like, bigger than any company. So you know, I really just see the bigness of it all, but also the responsibility. And the human responsibility. You know, the human life that's involved in some of the decisions.

The part where he's still obsessed with Hillary Clinton, who won the popular vote by nearly three million votes:

TRUMP: So she had this massive advantage, she spent hundreds of millions of dollars more money than I spent. Hundreds of millions ... Yeah. Or more, actually because we were $375 she was at $2.2 billion. But whatever. She spent massive amounts of money more and she lost. Solidly lost, because you know it wasn't 270, it was 306. So there's anger. But there was massive anger before I got there, so it's not easy for a White House staff to realize that you are going into a situation where you are going to be at no, where are going to get no votes. I mean, here's a judge who is No. 1 at Columbia, No. 1 at Harvard and an Oxford scholar. And he got three votes.

This baffling exchange:

TRUMP: OK. The one thing I've learned to do that I never thought I had the ability to do. I don't watch CNN anymore.

AP: You just said you did.

TRUMP: No. No, I, if I'm passing it, what did I just say (inaudible)?

AP: You just said —

TRUMP: Where? Where?

AP: Two minutes ago.

I value my sanity, so I'm going to stop there. But I can't believe this person is president. Do you want a Coke or anything?


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How Portland’s pioneering spirit made it one of the craft booze capitals of the world

To understand how Portland became one of the craft booze capitals of the world, it’s essential to look at its history.

In 1852 Portland was little more than a grubby frontier outpost perched on the muddy banks of the Willamette River. The town barely housed 800 people – most of them men – who spent their days logging, fishing and working the land. Despite its small population, Portland already had one thing it could be proud of: its very own brewery.

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The St. Johns Bizarre Returns Saturday May 13 with Performances by the Thermals, Y La Bamba, and More

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Nick Stokes

The 11th annual St. Johns Bizarre returns to the North Portland neighborhood's main drag Saturday, May 13 for an all-day celebration. The late spring revelry will include a street fair and parade, lots of food and beer, crafts, over 100 vendors, and music from some great (mostly) local bands: indie-rock veterans the Thermals, the experimental folk of Y La Bamba, Little Star's tender goth-pop, St. John's rapper Illmac, Seattle punk trio Dude York, and more. Bonus: It's free and welcomes all ages.


I, Anonymous: Submit Your Rants and Raves Now!

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Send us your rants, your raves, your secrets and confessions longing to breathe free. Tell us about your obnoxious customers, your unfortunate encounters with rude people, your Trump-loving relatives, your loud neighbors, your irresponsible fellow drivers.

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Judge Halts Trump's Order Blocking Federal Funding for Sanctuary Cities

Demonstrators gathered outside of Portlands ICE headquarters on March 6 to protest recent immigration enforcement.
Demonstrators gathered outside of Portland's ICE headquarters on March 6 to protest recent immigration enforcement. DOUG BROWN

A judge has blocked an order from the Trump Administration cutting off funding to sanctuary cities like Portland and Seattle that limit their cooperation with federal immigration officials, the Associated Press reports.

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SEX

Savage Love Letter of the Day: How to Satisfy a Troglodyte

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Unsatisfied troglodyte here. I'm a straight regular bloke with a rather high sex drive. I've had both long- and short-term relationships, was even married for a short time, but the sad constant in my relationships is that after the first few months it's all downhill sexually for me. I understand that relationships have to evolve towards a more stable and comfortable phase with less sexual animality, but that really kills it for me. I have always found myself wanting more sexually from my partners than they're capable of delivering after that first adrenaline driven phase, and that frustrates me to no end. I don't know whether it's unrealistic expectations or a seriously biased selection of low sex drive partners, but I'm yet to find a relationship that sexually satisfies me. So the question is, am I a troglodyte that can't be satiated, or do I have a problem selecting my partners? I'm kind of resigned to never finding a good long-term relationship because of this, and it's a bummer. A serious bummer. Any ideas?

Horny And Romantically Defeated

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Goat Blocks: A Slap in the Face to Goats and Humanity

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***Update***

The original Craigslist posting for the Goat Blocks townhouse apartment now takes you to a much more reasonably-priced (in terms of Portland prices) studio apartment. It’s unclear why the original listing was changed, but it may have something to do with the anger over the absurdly-priced townhouse on social media.

***Original post: 4/24/2017, 3:52 pm***

Remember when Portland out-Portlanded itself by having a whole two acre meadow dedicated to a herd of goats? Those were happy times.

And in unsurprising news, the developers who bought the goats' old home have built a huge, overpriced apartment building on top of it.

I'm not sure what alternate reality these developers were living in when they decided it would be a good idea to name the building "Goat Blocks," but apparently that's the name. Where we once had a lovely goat field, there's an apartment building very few can afford, and a sad reminder of the good old goat days. However if you're the type of person who says, "Fuck goats!" then you might like it.

According to an ad that's been making the rounds among gobsmacked Portlanders, a two-bedroom, two-bath townhouse at Goat Blocks goes for the very hefty price of $3,760. If that sounds a bit out of your price range, fret not! They advertise a selection of "studios, 1 bedroom lofts, and 2 bedrooms [which] provide stylish living spaces for every Portlander." That is, every Portlander who can afford paying nearly $1,500 a month for a studio apartment.

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Bumbershoot 2017 Lineup Features Solange, Lorde, the Roots, Margaret Cho, and Chicano Batman

Today, Bumbershoot announced the lineup for its 47th annual festival, which happens September 1-3 at Seattle Center. It's a familiar mix of very popular acts from hiphop (Vince Staples, Gucci Mane, the Roots, Big Sean, E-40, Die Antwoord), pop (Solange, Lorde, Haim), rock (Weezer, Spoon, White Reaper, Conor Oberst), and electronic genres (ODESZA, Flume, Dillon Francis), with an emphasis on youthful and up-and-coming performers, and strong local representation (Porter Ray, Tacocat, Stas Thee Boss, Crater, Spider Ferns, Smokey Brights, Dude York). My personal can't-miss sets are Chicano Batman (suave Latin soul and funk), Moon Duo (driving, droning Suicide-meets-Hawkwind hypnosis), and garage-psych units Deap Vally and Froth. Passes go on sale 10 am PST this Fri, April 28. Check out the complete lineup and all the other details after the jump.

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Beloved Food Cart Jook Joint is Closing

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Aaron Lee

Sad news from the food cart world: The much beloved cart Jook Joint (located at 530 SW 10th) will be closing down at the end of the month according to this sad announcement on Twitter.


And a bit more info from Jook Joint's Facebook page:

The brainchild of chef Ryan Ostler, Jook Joint produced a complex, satisfying blend of Southeast Asian cuisine and the yummy, fatty deliciousness of the American South. It also got rave reviews from the Portland Monthly and the Mercury, too. From our own Andrea Damewood's review from 2016:

There are two hemispheres' worth of flavor in the pillowy steamed bao ($8), which are stuffed like a taco with miso aioli, cilantro, kimchi, and smoked Lan-Roc pork belly. Be prepared to get that aioli on your sweater if you're not careful. Hand-puffed chicharrones rest atop each bao like the cherry on a sundae.

The coconut-corn fritters ($4)—like most of the menu, a mashup of Ostler's Austin, Texas, background and his travels through Southeast Asia and China—are four generously sized and piping hot cornmeal balls, coated in sweet Thai chile sauce with a soft interior of corn, scallions, and coconut. Another side, the deep-fried crispy Brussels sprouts ($4), is a show-stopping take-out carton of brassica nuggets jazzed up with a pineapple reduction and chilies.

We wish Ryan the best of luck, and our stomachs are begging to get more deliciousness from him in the future!


Good Morning, News: More Gum, Fewer Goats, and a Sad End for the Blazers

Good morning, Blogtown! Today is April 25, but you're gonna need more than a light jacket for today's weather (rain, obviously).

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Miss Congeniality, Warner Bros. Pictures

It's a sad day in Portland. Few were expecting the Blazers to grab a win against the Warriors, but I certainly didn't expect the abomination that was last night's game four. If you can handle it, read our recap here!

Check out Portland's newest apartment to hate: the crazy-expensive Goat Blocks.

As you probably already know thanks to your lucky-as-shit friends' Instagram posts, Solange hit Portland on Friday as part of the Soul'd Out Festival. Portland didn't totally embarrass itself in front of the queen of cool.

In Trump news, First lady/daughter Ivanka Trump arrived in Berlin this morning for the W20 Summit, an event dedicated to the advocacy and empowerment of women. Surprise, surprise, it didn't go great for America's much maligned faux-feminist. Right off the bat, she was asked what the hell she is doing there, and was booed and hissed at by the audience.

Yesterday Twitter finally noticed a nearly month old blog post by the US State Department that's essentially an advertisement for Mar-a-Lago, er, the "Winter White House." After Twitter did what Twitter does, the post was removed.

For the time being, however, we're still miles ahead of China. The government just banned "names with a strong religious [read: Islamic] flavor" in the Muslim-majority Xinjiang province. The list of names was released after the government outlawed burqas and "abnormal beards."

The former Bachelor known as "Prince Farming," AKA Chris Soules, was arrested last night after a fatal hit-and-run. A lot of details are still unknown, but we do know he rear-ended a tractor.

For a reason that is unknown to me/most decent humans, Portland is getting a gum wall, a la Seattle (who even had the good sense to take that shit down). Someone decided Portland didn't have enough trash in its trash collection, (wouldn't you think our collection's complete?). If you're interested in exposing yourself to germs and disease, check out the grand opening. There will be plenty of both.


Blazers Recap: A Brutal End To A Rough Season, Blazers Lose 128-103. Until Next Year...

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It feels like a sadistic practice to pit the first seed against the eighth in the first round of the NBA playoffs. When you look at the fourth team facing the fifth, it makes sense because they’re more likely to be evenly matched. Same with the third and sixth. I suppose when a team has busted their buns to get to the top, you throw them a bone that’s easier to chew on first. And that poor team that’s barely dangling above oblivion, it’s up to them to prove they’ve got the sand to contend, so you give them the giant.

You can be a fan, and you can be realistic, but the Trail Blazers going to war with the Golden State Warriors in the first round is as David and Goliath as it gets. The Warriors are a team that will go in the Hall Of Fame with Jordan’s Bulls, Magic’s Lakers, and Bird’s Celtics. Steph Curry is as natural as they come, and he’s got a wrecking crew to back him up. Hope can only take you so far before it runs into that asshat logic.

Even though they had their backs against the wall in game four last night, the Blazers certainly haven’t laid down in this series. We won’t speak about game two, but three quarters of games one and three they had a handle on the Warriors. They were effective defensively and offensively. Sadly, the Warriors had a deadly burst in the fourth of each of those games, and the Blazers just couldn’t keep up.

Tragically, the Blazers had zero fight left in them. The Warriors buried the Blazers 128 to 103, then danced across their grave to advance to the western conference semi-finals. It was a absolute shit way to end the season.

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(photos lifted from trailblazers.com)

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Check Out Videos from the Last Sound + Vision Concert at Mississippi Studios!

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Every month, the Portland Mercury, Mississippi Studios, and Banana Stand Media offer the good people of Portland a free concert featuring up-and-coming local acts. April's lineup, for example, included singer/songwriter (and Mercury writer) Robin Bacior and Jessica Dennison + Jones, who just released their self-titled debut last month. In his review, Joshua James Amberson described Jessica Dennison + Jones as "an album I could flip endlessly, a dream I don’t want to end, the perfect low-key soundtrack to most of life. I listen and imagine all the moments of my future that will be made better because of its existence." If you missed out or simply wish to relive the magic, check out these videos from the show, courtesy of Banana Stand.

Don't miss the next Sound + Vision show Tuesday, May 30 at Mississippi Studios with Savila and Notel!


RECAP: Soul'd Out Festival 2017, April 19-23

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Christopher Garcia Valle

SOLANGE Friday April 21 at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

Last Friday night, the Solange show was the place to be. I ran into about eight people right off the bat. The Portland crowd was gorgeous, diverse, and buzzing with good energy. “Don’t let me down, Portland” I kept thinking to myself, desperately hoping Solange would feel the love from my city so she’d want to come back someday. Opener and avant-garde drummer Jamire Williams did some cool stuff on a shimmering bronze drum kit with spiral trash cymbals, playing over spacey production, synths, and tribal chanting.

After a short wait, the lights flicked off and the room was lit by a color-changing backdrop with a large circle in the middle—it usually looked like an all-red Japanese flag, or perhaps a symbol for an angry planet.

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Christopher Garcia Valle

Solange’s band, dressed in '70s –esque garb, entered one-by-one. When Solange jogged onstage she was met with a roar of support as she sang the opening lyrics to her excellent 2016 album A Seat At the Table: “Fall in your ways so you can crumble/Fall in your ways so you can sleep at night.” Only here she sang the lines differently, taking her time so they could really sink in and thoroughly convey her message. This set the pace and tone for the rest of the night.

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Christopher Garcia Valle

Solange’s songs were chock-full of vocal ad-libs, carefree Black girl dance moves, and that artsy choreography (similar to her music videos). Surprisingly, the Portland audience was NOT embarrassing—people actually knew the words, sang along, and showed Solange adequate appreciation.

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Christopher Garcia Valle

My favorite songs of the night were also my favorites from the album. “Cranes in the Sky” and “Mad” felt especially good in that space, as did the danceable “Junie.” It was really special when it was finally time for “F.U.B.U.,” and Solange ran out into the orchestra section so she could sing and dance to the pro-Black anthem with the audience (she came VERY close to where I was sitting, but don’t worry, I kept my cool).

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Christopher Garcia Valle

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Christopher Garcia Valle

In addition to singing A Seat At the Table almost in its entirety, Solange sang a couple of older tracks like “Losing You” (from 2012’s True) and “T.O.N.Y.” (from 2008’s Sol-Angel and the Hadley St. Dreams) before doing “Don’t Touch My Hair” as the encore.

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Christopher Garcia Valle

While Solange's band played her out, I felt simultaneously sad and satisfied by the show’s ending. And as soon as the lights cut on, “Humble” by Kendrick Lamar started bumping from the speakers (“I remember syrup sandwiches and crime allowances”), soothing us and making everything okay again. Whoever was controlling the music knew their audience.

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Christopher Garcia Valle

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Christopher Garcia Valle

More photos from Soul'd Out Festival 2017 after the jump!

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Poll: Portland is Getting a Gum Wall. Should This Abomination Be Stopped?

Seattles infamous gum wall.
Seattle's infamous gum wall. MATT RAGEN / SHUTTERSTOCK

Today in news that makes us go eeeeeewwwwwww:

Portland may be getting its very own gum wall downtown. A Facebook event hosted by RONIN Living Art Studio is inviting folks to chew up and stick gum to a wall of their building off 3rd and Couch.

From Facebook:

Hey Y'all! Come join us in the starting of Portlands first gum wall here in the heart of Down Town Portland off of 3rd and Couch!! To get the word out and the wall a chance to STICK around for years to come we are throwing a fun little party here at the shop!! We will be providing free food and free drinks for (21+). And of course lots and lots of CHEWING GUM!!! Bring $20 worth of gum (with recipt) and recieve $150 voucher towards a tattoo at RONIN Living Art Studio. The more gum the better!! We'll see ya there!!

This appears to be a copy of Seattle's sometimes loved, oft-hated Market Theater Gum Wall in a Pike Place Market alley. That gum wall was cleaned in 2015 after 20 years of being a sticky disgusting mess and tourist attraction.

Thoughts?


The Lost City of Z Review: Uncharted Territory

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Percival Fawcett’s name may be nothing more than an eerie coincidence, but writer/director James Gray doesn’t it treat it like one, even though his Percival was unquestionably real. “Percy” is the protagonist of Gray’s astonishing film The Lost City of Z; he’s a British officer tasked with mapping the border between Bolivia and Brazil during the first years of the 20th century. Like Arthur’s knight Percival—who spent decades obsessively seeking the Holy Grail—Z’s Percy becomes consumed by a quest that promises him glory back home until it swallows him altogether.

It’s easy to see, with just a few tweaks, how The Lost City of Z could’ve been a by-the-numbers historical biopic, and its costumes and sets are perfectly on point. But the film offers something more complicated, and as Percy and his team travel deeper into unmapped terrain, Gray takes us into uncharted territory within Percy’s psyche.

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