Hillary Clinton is Officially the Democratic Nominee for President

As of today's roll call at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia, Hillary Clinton is the first woman to receive a major-party nomination for president:

In a huge show of party unity (a smart political maneuvering) during roll call, Bernie Sanders moved to suspend procedural roles to select Hillary Clinton as the Democrats' nominee for the presidency.

Here's Sen. Jeff Merkley and Oregon's delegation during roll call:


And here's a delightful tweet from Sen. Elizabeth Warren, who seems to be really enjoying her new role as Chief Trump Irritant:


The DNC continues tonight. Headlining speakers are Bill Clinton and the mothers of Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin, Dontré Hamilton, Jordan Davis, Michael Brown, Hadiya Pendleton, and Sandra Bland. If yesterday's boos continue during their speaking time, I'm going to be so fucking pissed.


Explode into Colors Reunite!

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Explode into Colors is back! The three piece art-dance-funk-rock-beat-etc. band broke up alllll the way back in 2010, playing their farewell show at Rotture on June 5, 2010. But now baritone guitarist Claudia Meza, percussionist Heather Treadway, and drummer Lisa Schonberg are reuniting for a pair of special benefit shows later this year.

The two shows will take place at Mississippi Studios on Sunday, October 16. The early show is all-ages and is a benefit for Friends of Noise, with Wampire and Hugo Berlin joining them on the bill. The late show benefits all ages LA show space the Smell (although, weirdly, the late show is 21 and up), with the Ghost Ease and Lithics also performing. Tickets are available through the Mississippi Studios website.

Check out this video of Explode into Colors performing at the Portland Art Museum from back in the day. Like the lotus, XIC blooms for you again and again.


Developers Just Sued the City—Again—Over Fees To Pay For City Parks

The city wants to spend $600,000 to spiff up this dock. A new lawsuit contends thats probably illegal—along with millions in other planned improvements.
The city wants to spend $600,000 to spiff up this dock. A new lawsuit contends that's probably illegal—along with millions in other planned improvements. Jason Desomer

Portland Parks and Recreation did itself a solid last year: The oft-cash-strapped bureau ramped up the fees it charges developers to pay for the strain brought by new workers and residents flocking to the city.

To hear parks boosters tell it, the change to these "system development charges" (SDCs) would finally mean a reasonable, adequate influx of cash to help build out city parks for increased use.

The developers paying the fees use different terms—like "slush fund" and "money-grab."

Now, a coalition of development, realty, and business groups have sued the city for a second time over the SDC changes, and it's a case worth paying attention to. If the developers can get a judge to agree with their lengthy arguments, they say the city might have to pay back millions in ill-gotten gains from its own general fund, squeezing out money for other purposes.

"This may well end up creating a fiscal catastrophe for the citizens of Portland," reads a strongly worded petition filed in Multnomah County Circuit Court yesterday.

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A Conversation With a #BernieOrBuster About Dinner

Submitted by Christopher Baird...

Moderator: As you know, we've completed the semi-final round of our bracket for dinner choices.

(crowd murmurs, unhappily)

M: I know, I know. Many of us are unhappy with the final choices, but here we are and crying won't change it. Now, we leave it to you: stewed beets or strychnine.

BernieOrBuster: I wanted turnips!

M: Well, turnips lost to stewed beets.

BoB: I don't accept that! Stewed beets stole this from us.

M: Um...not really, but it's moot. Please choose between stewed beets and strychnine.

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So I'm Thinking Randy Quaid Isn't Going to Vote for Hillary

At last night's Democratic National Convention, a goodly amount of time was spent convincing Bernie Sanders supporters to jump to the other side and support Hillary Clinton. This included speeches from Bernie himself, and a terrific ad-libbed one-liner from former Sanders supporter, Sarah Silverman.

HOWEVER.

While many Sanders fans are seeing the writing on the wall, and will support Hillary in the general election, there are a few WHO WON'T EVER UNDER ANY CONCEIVABLE CIRCUMSTANCE. Such as actor Randy Quaid, who is best known for his roles in Kingpin, Independence Day, and the National Lampoon: Vacation movies, but in recent years has become... oh, how shall I put this... a curmudgeon of sorts? Fine. A curmudgeon of sorts. Here's a tweet where he expresses some very strong ideas about why he will never, ever vote for Hillary.


Hmm. I think it's okay to let Trump have this one.


So is Russia Poking Through Our Emails on Donald Trump's Behalf or What?

Putin engages his psychic powers to establish a link with Will Byers.
Putin engages his psychic powers to establish a link with Will Byers. ID1974 / Shutterstock.com

Okay, so someone somehow got ahold of the DNC's emails, uncovering incontrovertible proof that it is incredibly boring to work at the DNC. Other than that, there's nothing in there we didn't already know — politics are sleazy (surprise!), the system would be rigged if insiders were competent enough to rig it! — but the leak is at least an excuse to feign outrage at a gun that we've been watching smoke for decades.

The leak is also, according to people who seem to know what they're talking about, the work of Russian spies. I know Stranger Things has us all feeling nostalgic for the '80s, but this is one throwback we could really do without.

How do we know the Russians are to blame? We don't, exactly, but it seems likely. The hackers ceased work during a Russian holiday; they used Cyrillic text; and they're consistent with Russian attacks on government servers from last year. Then again, these clues are awfully convenient, so maybe it's Iran's way of throwing us off their trail. Who knows!

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Let Us Now Praise Tim Kaine's Arched Eyebrow

At last! I have found something that makes Tim Kaine a little less boring:

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CSPAN

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Equals Is a Film in Which Nicholas Hoult and Kristen Stewart Breathe on Each Other a Lot

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Equals centers on Silas (Nicholas Hoult) and his highly aesthetic, utilitarian future where all his furniture slides out of the wall and all his meals are delivered. It looks and sounds like he lives in an iPhone surrounded by sunlight and lush forests. Silas has a full-time gig as a speculative non-fiction illustrator—something his co-worker Rachel (Bel Powley) reminds him about with increasingly comedic effect—and his Photoshop interface is off the hook.

The downside to Silas’ iPhone future is that it subtly encourages suicide to anyone who begins to experience 1) emotions or 2) feelings of gender. Okay, that’s not so great, iPhone future. Cursed with both frowned-upon traits, Silas and his other coworker Nia (Kristen Stewart) secretly meet in the bathroom to breathe on each other a lot.

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Win Tickets to the NW Film Center's Rooftop Screening of She’s Gotta Have It!

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As summer movie screenings go, it's pretty hard to argue with the NW Film Center's Top Down: Rooftop Cinema series, which takes place on the roof of Hotel deLuxe's downtown parking structure. In addition to movies under the stars (and a great view), each screening features pre-movie music, drinks, and food—and this Thursday, the movie playing is Spike Lee's landmark first feature, She's Gotta Have It.

Thanks to the folks at the NW Film Center, we're giving away a pair of tickets to the screening, which'll be preceded by tunes from DJ Bobby D.

Want to win 'em? Of course you do. So email me no later than 5 pm today (Tuesday, July 26), and make sure "A Spike Lee Joint" is the subject of your email. I'll pick a winner at random. And that's it! Get to it.


SEX

Savage Love Letter of the Day: What Would You Do About My Awful Mum?

I have a troubled relationship with my mum but I try to make it work most of the time. She's not very nice to me and will make hurtful comments without even knowing they're hurtful. I've talked to her about it but she refuses to acknowledge that her words and actions are hurtful, let alone change her behaviour. What's worse is that she treats my partner of 8 years in a similar way. My partner feels pretty uncomfortable when she's around. It's not just us, my brother's wife has recently decided after 20 years that she doesn't want to be around her anymore and she no longer attends family gatherings.

I think mum has some mental health issues but she'd never acknowledge this or get help. Her mental health is the way it is largely due to a series of traumatic events - three of my siblings died (not one event, years apart) and my dad died young at 48. He was an abusive alcoholic. So mum's been through a lot. It's no excuse for her behaviour but it helps to understand the way she is the way she is. I've tried to get her to see a psychologist but she refuses.

This is all background to my current dilemma.

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TV

The Bachelorette Recap: Episode 9—The Three Fuck-sketeers

JoJo realizing the Bachelor Mansion was built by slaves too.
JoJo realizing the Bachelor Mansion was built by slaves too. Courtesy of @BachloretteABC

MICHELLE OBAMA JUST MADE ME CRY. Cry just as much as JoJo was crying at the end of the last week's episode. Is that a stretch? Well then call me Mr. Fantastic.

Speaking of stretching, Bernie Sanders' speech stretched into the 8pm time slot which pushed back the start time of The Bachelorette. Damn Bernie, don’t you know I got work in the morning? I thought you were all about helping the working class!

Anyway, check out my recap of last week’s episode to catch up: Click here to read it.

Oops, I meant this link: Click this one.

But for real: Click.

Hit the Jump to vote for love>>>>

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The First Night of the DNC: Crying Bernie Fans and Michelle Obama is Queen

All hail the Queen
All hail the Queen courtesy of the DNC

The first night of the Democratic National Convention was a rowdy one. Many of the biggest stars and heavy hitters from the party delivered prime time speeches, with Al Franken and Sarah Silverman in a duet, New Jersey Senator Cory Booker (and possible future presidential hopeful) ending with Michelle Obama, a keynote speech from Elizabeth Warren, and the final, most anticipated speech of the night from Bernie Sanders.

By the time Sanders got on the stage, you would be forgiven for thinking if half the audience had the vapours. Nearly every time the camera panned to the crowd, there were shots of people reacting a lot like this gal:

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Good Morning, News: A Democratic Boo-Fest, a Bungled Fake Kidnapping, and Bullseye's Latest Bad News


Well, that didn't go great. The first day of the Democratic National Convention somehow managed to be even more rancorous than its Republican counterpart, with a massive march from Bernie Sanders supporters eclipsing anything last week in Cleveland, and Sanders himself getting booed at one point by his own people. Here's a quote that seemed typical of the sentiment: “I’m gonna boo, and I’m gonna do it for the next four days."

Sanders' campaign frantically tried to rein his supporters in, and it seemed to work to a degree. When the senator and other prominent speakers took the lectern Monday night (Sanders delivering a familiar speech), the dissent had quieted. Also people were quite excited about Michelle Obama's speech.


Into the maelstrom stepped Oregon Speaker of the House Tina Kotek with a short address. Kotek says Hillary Clinton has her back—and all of our backs. Senator Jeff Merkley also spoke, seeming to thread the needle with enough Bernie bullishness to hold off jeers when he endorsed Clinton.

Oh, uh, and be thankful the election wasn't held yesterday. FiveThirtyEight says Trump would win if it were. Michael Moore says it'll happen anyway, but he's mostly trying to stir people to action.

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Some interesting if unsurprising news: Bullseye Glass has maintained that the benign form of chromium it puts into its product does not turn into a lethal form while being melted. A new state report says that's not the case at all, which isn't good.

BETTER NEWS: Burger Week approaches!! You seen this year's offerings yet?

Bound to happen: A guy who (allegedly) faked his own kidnapping to extort money from his own mother had his plans dashed when he fell out of a car on I-205?

So apparently one of the contractors that Portland Public Schools has tapped to test its water for lead has been straying from US Environmental Protection Agency recommendations? The Salem Statesman Journal has the story.

Also: While it struggles with the fallout of a lead-in-the-water crisis, the PPS Board of Education decided yesterday to put off a $750 million bond measure it had planned to ask voters to approve in November. That's now slated for next year.

That was quick: The top banana at the Oregonian (technically "Oregonian Media Group") is moving on after a little more than a year. No telling what it portends, if anything, but Steve Moss is headed to another job with the paper's parent company.

Another thing you now have to answer for to your non-Portland friends/associates: An opera cart.

Awful news from Japan, where a 26-year-old man stabbed dozens of people at a facility for the disabled where he'd apparently worked. Nineteen people are dead. It's Japan's worst mass attack in decades.

RIP Tom Peterson, the Portland salesman who affably spoke in the third person while slanging televisions/furniture/hot deals.

Your weather? Not looking too terrible.

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Why are Democrats not Throwing Debbie Wasserman Schultz to the Wolves?

Dont make voters angry. You wouldnt like them when theyre angry.
Don't make voters angry. You wouldn't like them when they're angry. Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.com

Okay, everyone, let's try to figure this out. What on EARTH are the Democrats thinking? Why is Debbie Wasserman Schultz still making public appearances? Why is she retaining leadership positions? Why is Hillary heaping praise upon her?

Debbie is at this point the Ted Cruz of the Democrats: a symbol everyone hates and is ready to boo even if they don't know why they're booing. And there's plenty of reason to boo! Not only has she been "meh" on fundraising, but this email leak makes it look like she was sabotaging Bernie's campaign.

And yes, as damning material goes, there's nothing you didn't already know in the leak. Oh, the political establishment circles its wagons to undermine candidates who say they're going to disrupt the establishment? Powerful people take measures to retain their power? They trade money for favors? Oh no, what a terrible shock, this is not at all the way the system is designed to work.

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SEX

Southeast Portland to Get Their Own "Kink and Coffee Shop"

houseoffyre.com
houseoffyre.com

For those of you kinky, sex-positive people who also enjoy a delicious cup of coffee, you're in luck! Because according to this interview in Nerve, professional dom Miss Pixie Fyre (best known as an educator and for her popular House of Fyre fetish events) will be opening up Portland's first "kink and coffee shop" in Southeast Portland called "Moonfyre Cafe." From the interview, here's how Miss Pixie describes her combo coffee shop and kink dungeon:

Having a dungeon and education space within the cafe means there are always going to be different experiences, needs, and play happening. After four years of events in the Portland community, we have created a great space, a great reputation and years of education for our community. That foundation simply needed a permanent location open to everyone in Portland.

... Moonfyre has to be 18+. That’s one of the restrictions that do exist here, you have to be over the age of 18 legally to be able to consent to this type of play and this type of exposure, and to then have the potential to go into areas where nudity will be allowed.

... There will not be alcohol served on site which was a very deliberate choice. We believe that the best (and safest) play experiences are done with clear mind and body. We advocate education and safety. It’s our responsibility to provide the safest environment for our guests that we possibly can.

Sounds fun! Moonfyre Cafe is scheduled to open later this month. For those who are interested, learn more about it here and here!