I am a 36-year-old reader, a recent subscriber to your column, and a gay man from Europe. I had a late coming out a few years ago, due to some financial and social constraints. I lived with my family well into my twenties, and then later with flatmates, and as a consequence I have never had a proper relationship — or even sexual intercourse — with a man. I have had strong Dom/sub fantasies, always with me as the Dom, mainly featuring role-play and power-exchange situations with restraints and collars and chains. Ideally, I would like to have a sub — for a weekend at first, and then perhaps a relationship with Dom/sub dynamics. I have only tried it briefly with a friend a while ago, and just two times, but my being a complete beginner ruined the encounter for him, as the cuffs broke, and we had only a bit of oral.
I have posted a personal ad up on Recon and bought some materials (better cuffs, an orange jumpsuit). I have engaged in conversations with a couple of guys that are interested in meeting me. Both are slightly older, hunky, and successful guys who have never been subs before. One is a 43-year-old man who has been only active and wants to switch for the first time. This man could also be up for something long-term. The other is a straight guy who has been with dominant Mistresses and is looking to submit to a male for the first time. Complicating matters: I’m still very much a “twink.” I’ve built some muscles since taking up swimming, but I look no older than 28, and I have some insecurities about engaging with guys who are older and hunkier than I am, given the way I look and my lack of experience.
How can I prepare to be a Dom? I once read about incorporating insecurities in the encounter, but I guess I still need tips, or I risk ruining everything. Please sign me…
“Memento Audere”
“The coolest things about power exchange fantasies and relationships are that they’re based on nothing but mental satisfaction,”...
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