Dan Savage

I’m reading you from Italy, and I could really use your advice. About four years ago, I started dating a girl who I’ve been living with for the past two months. Since I’ve known her, she has been suffering from periods of depression and anxiety, although I didn’t know it when we first started to […]

1. I’m a fisting top and I always ask my bottoms to make sure they’re cleaned out. What is the proper etiquette when brown liquid explodes out of a bottom, covering me, the bed, the walls, and the floor? Get out of bed, shower off, get dressed, put the bottom in an Uber, exit the […]

Does your standard advice about sexless marriages extend to orally sexless marriages? My wife and I have been together for a couple decades. We met in our late teens, and we are each other’s first and only sexual partners. Oral sex used to be a regular part of our sex life, for the first decade […]

I’ve written before, but I didn’t hear back from you—probably because my e-mail didn’t contain flogging or santorum or whatever. But I won’t be IGNORED, Dan. My question: I’m a 32-year-old female. Second marriage, two kids: one kid with my ex and one with the man I cheated on my ex with (my current husband). My […]

I’m a man in his 40s and my partner is in their 30s and non-binary. We’ve been together for three years and officially living together for about a year. Things have been a little tumultuous during that time, due to issues with my kids, my kids’ mom, and my own fears about compatibility and commitment. […]

I’m a single straight male in my 40s. I date women in their 20s-50s. I hooked up with a 21-year-old woman recently, which is the youngest age I’d consider dating. Except after we had sex, she told me she was actually much younger than 21. I did not break the law. I live in a state […]

I’m a 25-year-old gay man. My parents have been divorced most of my life, and my dad came out to me as gay when I was 15. I came out to him and everyone else when I was 18. We’ve always had a good relationship, but we don’t see each other that often because we […]

I have a partner of several decades who needs me, as I am his primary caregiver and he’s been going through a prolonged health crisis. But we have been sexless for two decades. There are multiple reasons for that, on both sides, some of which include the fact that I’m just not that physically attracted […]

1. How much pineapple should I be eating? Most commercial pineapple growers use a lot of pesticides and other agrochemicals in the production of this slow-growing fruit, which isn’t good for the environment or the health of agriculture workers. Furthermore, unless you live in South America, the pineapples you’re eating most likely travelled thousands of miles to […]

I’m a 25-year-old woman who has never been in a relationship. As a consequence, I’ve never kissed anyone and obviously never had sex. I’m not from a conservative family and sex has never been a taboo for me, however as a teenager I disliked my body and I’ve always been shy and introverted, and I […]

I’m the other woman in a non-ethical, non-monogamous marriage. His wife doesn’t know. I think my lover’s wife married him to have a family and because they got along well. When I met my lover five years ago, he talked about how he had a platonic marriage, and his wife was his best friend. He had […]

I’m a 41-year-old cis female and have experienced a significant amount of physical and emotional abuse in my relationships. I recently started dating again and met a really great guy who told me that he was interested in having a Dom/sub relationship. I thought that would be it and told him so — given my […]