It’s like Dr. Dre said on his last record, “Get yo drank on and yo smoke on, and go home with somethin’ you’ve drawn on.” Combining several of my favorite things, namely drinking and drawing, Sunday night’s 8 pm Drink & Draw at the Goodfoot will be, well… a whole bunch of people getting drunk […]
Drunk
Posted inFood and Drink
Your Mom
A little booze should get them to shut up. I’d love to thank my Mom for so many things, but honestly I wouldn’t know where to start. I will say that she happens to be one of the greatest eccentrics that I know, and that my upbringing under her sometimes-hazy gaze was just about perfect. […]
Posted inDrunk
The New “Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis” (YES! Spelled it right.)
In his newest extremely awkward outing, Zach interviews Natalie Portman about her vagina, her dog’s penis, and Chewbacca. (Is that all? Ummm… yep. That’s about it.) Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns Thanks for the tip, Jay!
Posted inDrunk
Drank is Here… Er, It’s Coming?
Seeing as how I’ve become the unofficial Portland press liaison for Drank, I feel it’s my responsibility to inform you that the queasily named anti-energy drink is here… or coming, or something. They’ve hooked up national distribution with 7-11, and the PR woman excitedly tells me that “Drank is rolling out nationwide as we speak” […]
Posted inDrunk
1) Download Cocktail Compass. 2) Find Happy Hour. 3) Drink.
It’s that simple! If you’d like to find the closest happy hour—no matter where you are in Portland—download the shit out of our new iPhone app Cocktail Compass: Portland Happy Hour Finder.IT’S GOT WHAT YOU NEED!• All the happy hours happening right now, including how far away they are, AND when the said happy hour […]
Posted inDrunk
Mercury Employees: Learn This Dance Routine
Attention Mercury Employees: I realize this is late notice, but as usual, I don’t give a poop. All employees are hereby instructed to drop whatever lunch plans they have, and learn the following dance. At 2 pm, we will gather on the street outside the office, and perform this dance for the employees of KATU, […]
Posted inDrunk
New Mercury iPhone App: Cocktail Compass!
You need a drink… AM I RIGHT?If you have an iPhone or iPod Touch, then do yourself a favor and download our brand spanking new iPhone app Cocktail Compass: Portland Happy Hour Finder. (This opens iTunes.) Not only does Cocktail Compass find the closest Happy Hours happening right now, IT’S TOTALLY FREE! HERE’S HOW IT […]
Posted inDrunk
Everything You Need For Derby Day (Except the Money)
I pointed to the huge grassy meadow enclosed by the track. “That whole thing,” I said, “will be jammed with people; fifty thousand or so, and most of them staggering drunk. It’s a fantastic scene — thousands of people fainting, crying, copulating, trampling each other and fighting with broken whiskey bottles. We’ll have to spend […]
Posted inDrunk
You’ve Already Eaten Lunch, Right?
If not, you probably want to skip the video on the home page of a product called Cuchini (Italian for “coochie” is what they must be going for there), unless you think a montage of camel toe closeups set to a song parody of “Kokomo” will whet your appetite—I’m not going to judge, but I […]
Posted inEvents
Get a Clue About Urban Renewal Tonight!
Big, mysterious questions are afoot in Portland. How do we get funding for big projects like the Major League Soccer Stadium and the Burnside Bridgehead? Who kills these projects or gives them life? And what the hell does Matt Davis look like in a Sherlock Holmes outfit?!? Answers to these burning questions revealed tonight! At […]
Posted inDrunk
Trivia Night Photos
Okay, you guys saw me take these pictures, and you KNOW I work for The Internet, so hopefully having your anonymity violated doesn’t come as too much of a shock. Now, I can’t commit to doing this every week—but what if we were to arrange a Blogtown trivia night once a month or so, would […]
Posted inDrunk
“Why Do You Like Riding Hippos?” It’s a Fair Question.
So I was walking around downtown this weekend, and witnessed TWO very loud and very public arguments between bickering lovers within an hour of each other. I DON’T GET THAT. I don’t get how two people can be so oblivious to the fact that everyone around them are now privy to their most intimate discussions. […]