I had already moved far away from Colorado mountain towns by the time I was old enough to legally drink beer while eating a burger. I make this connection between beer, mountain towns, and burgers because there is something very particular about enjoying those three things in concert. I loved eating in those summer alpine […]
Drunk
Posted inDrunk
Everyone Poops—the Trailer!
For everyone who’s getting just a weeeeeee bit tired of the onslaught of twee films (think Adventureland, the upcoming Away We Go, and of course, Where the Wild Things Are), here’s a fake trailer for Spike Jonze’ next children’s book adaptation, EVERYONE POOPS. It’s twee-rific!
Posted inDrunk
My Alabama Vacation
Ever notice that when you return to work from your vacation that most of your first day back is spent answering the question, “Sooooooo… how was your vacation?” Therefore in the spirit of worker productivity, I’ve selected a video that perfectly sums up my recent vacation in Alabama, just so you don’t have to ask. […]
Posted inDrunk
Spring Fever
We lost the internet earlier, so now I’m two beers in and this is cracking my shit up. He’s no Bulby, but Coily is amazing.
Posted inDrunk
Winter/Spring Boozy Goodness: Addendum
Your Weekend Stymied by Budget Cuts? After watching PSU lose to Xavier, I needed a few more drinks… From the bottle. So, I headed out to score some Sazerac rye. But at both liquor stores I visited I was met with signs posted to the front door apologizing for an early closure. At one store […]
Posted inDrunk
Last of the Winter Boozy Goodness
Spring is almost here! Persephone returning from Hades, squints her eyes, offers a shy smile and asks for a drink: “Anything without pomegranate.” Apropos of nothing, here are some boozy topics (that were) on my mind in the last days of winter. Edited to reflect the reality of the current calendar.Booze South of Burnside: The […]
Posted inSports
Drunken Basketball Jonez
Portland State University is playing in the NCAA tournament today for the second year in a row. They face off against Xavier in Boise, Idaho, at 4:25 pm. I truly enjoy watching basketball, especially if I’m drinking at the same time. The problem is I’m not so great with the lingo. I’m picking it up […]
Posted inCats
No One’s Here Today
There are only three of us at work today in the editorial department and we’re all drunk already (that’s a lie, we’re desperately holding off ’til 3 pm). Alison made Marjorie and me some delicious cake, so I will repay the kindness by blogging about a kitten who will kick your ass for a slice. […]
Posted inDrunk
Silence of the Lambs Lego Musical
I don’t think there’s anything I could say about this that isn’t already explained in the title except that it is AMAZING (and I guess NSFWish). Happy St Patrick’s Day* *I guess I don’t know what St. Patrick’s Day is.
Posted inDrunk
Ding! Ding! Ding! We Have A Winner!
Thank you to all who submitted to my Drank rap contest (hit that link for the amusing entries)! I’m pleased to announced the winner of their very own can of DRANK: Tommy, who handily won the prize with the following tidy rhymes: Beat box intro by “Cheryl the beat box girl from Holland”… Without my […]
Posted inDrunk
Me, on Vacation
Dear Portland: For the next two weeks I will be on vacation, so if you need anything while I’m gone, why don’t you SUCK IT??? WHOOOOOOOOOOO!! SPRING BREAK, BABY! FORT MYER, HERE I COME! KEG-STANDS, FAKE IDs AND STDS!! WHOOOOOOO!!!Sincerely yours,Wm. Steven Humphrey p.s. In case you’re still wondering how I roll during Spring Break, […]
Posted inDrunk
Two Notable Urban Iditarod Photos
I’m sure the Mercury Flickr account is going to be overflowing with pictures of this weekend’s Urban Iditarod, since the annual drunk costumed shopping cart race between bars is just a big “Keep Portland Weird!!!!” photoshoot, but I wanted to quickly post two good ones I took. Picture One: Day laborers – very confused by […]