Kevin Ludwig is working diligently with his business partners to open up the much-anticipated cocktail emporium Beaker and Flask. He’s also been pulling double duty heading up the bar at Clyde Common where he is known as one of the cities top bartenders. Before long he’ll have to step away from Clyde Common’s bar to […]
Drunk
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Lose Weight to the Max with Slim Suit!
When I wear my Slim Suit, I can lose weight by simply walking, talking with friends, watching TV, sleeping or even eating an entire fried chicken dinner and vomiting into the toilet. THANKS SLIM SUIT!!! Omigod, what if they combined Slim Suit with the Snuggie? DIBS ON THE PATENT! Hat tips to Holy Taco!
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Beer Tax Hearing: Hot Live Blog Action
It’s nearly ten minutes until the start of the hearing for HB 2461 in hearing room A at the capitol building. The beer supporters are in attendance, sitting towards the back of the hearing room with SNOB shirts and “I heart Oregon beer” buttons. As a whole, I’d say they clean up very nicely. The […]
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Winter Boozy Taxes
Three billion dollars is a lot of scratch. It’s also the forecast state budget shortfall for the 2009-2011 biennium. You know how when shit’s looking really bleak, and you see your life teetering at the edge of a crucible? You know how your throat gets all dry and raspy? Like someone got down in there […]
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Sam and Beau: A Recreation
Here’s what the RecallSam.com people and Victoria Taft (Hi, Victoria!) don’t seem to get: The lies Mayor Sam Adams told were largely inspired by a society who frowns upon any kind of relationship that isn’t classified as “normal.” I believe that if these people could actually see what Sam and Beau’s relationship was like, they […]
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This Whole Snuggie Thing is Getting a Little Carried Away
A few cities are hosting a “Snuggie Pub Crawl,” wherein a group of idiots goes around drinking at different bars whilst wearing their Snuggies. San Francisco is hosting their Snuggie Pub Crawl on March 20, and Chicago has one scheduled for April 18. Dates are still TBD for New York, L.A., Seattle, D.C., Atlanta, Denver, […]
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“Crazy Ass” Goose vs. Hillbilly & Dog… WHO YA GOT?!?
I’m originally from the South—and yet I’m consistently amused whenever a fellow hillbilly is put in an embarrassing situation. In this case, a crazy ass goose won’t stop bitin’ me and git out o’ mah dad-blamed boat! And he keeps on a’peckin’ at my hound dawg, too! CONSARN IT!! Later, in the middle of the […]
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Watcha’ Doin’ at 5 pm?
It’s cold out there in the world. I don’t need to reiterate the constant litany of reasons why you feel the need to plod into your local drinkery every night for the comforting embrace of intoxication and a kind word from the bartender. Things are fucking grim. The guys from House Spirits feel your pain. […]
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What’s Next? A Tax On Being Happy?
That 12 oz. beer you’re drinking (I know what’s really in that coffee cup), may wind up costing you an extra 15 cents if Ben Cannon, D-Portland, has his way and manages to pass House Bill 2461. The proposed bill increases Oregon’s Beer Tax 1,800 percent: from $2.60 per 31 gallon barrel of beer to […]
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George Lucas: Guilty!!!!
Complete with a catchy tune called George Lucas Raped My Childhood, the teaser trailer for the film The People vs George Lucas hit the intertubes earlier this week. The evidence against Lucas seems to be based almost entirely on Jar Jar Binks. I doubt it’s enough to convict him. What the hell is his sentence […]
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Chocolates and Boozy Goodness
Jeff McCarthy, pastry chef from Ten-01, and House Spirits distillery have teamed up to release a line of booze filled chocolates. The chocolates will be given away free with an alcohol purchase from their Apothecary, 2025 SE 7th ave, tomorrow between 11 am and 4 pm. You know, a bottle of Marteau absinthe and some […]
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Screw the Watchmen. I Want This!
No Heroics, a show about the everyday lives of superheroes in a town full of superheroes, has been running in England since last summer. Apparently the American pilot has been green-lighted by ABC, which means we may see a lame, watered down version of No Heroics in the near future. But I’m going to do […]