File this under reason #74 why I adore PortlandFoodand Drink.com. Food Dude has gone ahead and taken the guess work out of discovering what local restaurants are offering for Valentine’s Day. He’s compiled a list, culled from piles of electronic press releases, of what’s going down in Portland eateries on the most depressing romantic night […]
Drunk
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Starfish Hitler vs. Asshole Playing His Beard… WHO YA GOT?!?
Usually, I’m a person who likes people. But right now I’m in a craptastic, people-despising mood because I just witnessed two videos featuring my newest archnemeses, STARFISH HITLER and ASSHOLE PLAYING HIS BEARD. Now, instead of being happy and enjoying life, I have to decide who I hate more: Starfish Hitler or Asshole Playing His […]
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Winter Boozy Goodness Badness: The OLCC
While I’ve been busy not getting invited to red carpet geek-outs and being totally not bitter about it, the OLCC has been sneaking around trying to make my bar experience less pleasurable. Thank god Miss Jen Lane over at Barfly has her eyes on those… Um… Misguided bureaucrats. This is from the barfly e-mail newsletter […]
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Good Firkin Beer!
Here is my sum of experience with cask-conditioned ales: “Oh, lookie thar, they have one o’ them fancy beer engine thing-a-majigs. I hear thems pours some fancy beers. I guess I’ll order me up one.” GLUG, GLUG. “Yep, that thar was a beer fer sher. Pour me another bar keep.” Which is to say, I […]
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Its Not My Speling Its Teh Econome
Over the year I’ve been working at the Mercury I have been harassed, cajoled, and beaten (yes, by Marjorie Skinner) for spelling and grammar mistakes in my blog posts. Some might point out that mistakes in (urgent, self-edited, topical) blog posts are par for the course; but there are others who suggest that blog posts […]
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The Army is Gay Enough Right Now, Thanks
Are our troops in Iraq trying to send President Obama a message? Via Towelroad.
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Duck Sunday
Maybe if we all had a duck, we wouldn’t be so mad at each other… Wise words.
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Need a Blanket with Sleeves that’s NOT the Snuggie?
Some call it a Snuggie, some call it a Slanket (me)—but now there’s a whole new generation of sleeved blankets called “The WTF Blanket!” They’re great for giving handjobs—except that no one will want a handjob from someone who looks like a Satanist. (Who am I kidding? I’d love a handjob from a Satanist!)
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Finally! A Dietary Supplement for Snake Charmers.
Si, mi espanol es muy mal. However! It doesn’t take a Spanish translation expert to figure out what’s going on in this commercial. Finally, a dietary supplement has been developed for snake charmers who want to get married to their scantily clad girlfriends, but can’t afford a ring. And the great thing about ErectoMax pills? […]
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Dibs on That Seat
In these heady, anti-carcinogenic times, bar etiquette has become more and more important… and confusing! Gone are the days of blowing second-hand smoke into the faces of complete strangers. Instead, we’re drunkenly entering bars to find loads of empty barstools and tables… only to be confronted with angry, smelly patrons who stepped outside to smoke […]
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Drunk Dad vs. Sissy Son… WHO YA GOT?!?
Sorry to make you pick sides, but… WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON? The drunk dad, the effeminate son, or the Duke of Hazzard’s General Lee? null – Watch more free videos Hat tips to Videogum!
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Liquor’s Magical Effects
If you need any further proof of sweet, sweet liquor’s magical effects, look no further than this St. Louis ad for “Dirt Cheap” and… OMIGOD, THAT’S A GIANT CHICKEN!! ICYMI: Dirt Cheap Commercial @ Yahoo! Video Hat tips to BWE!