It’s a good day for bad choices. Here are the worst ones so far on this lovely, gray Thursday afternoon… 1) Putting spray paint cans in the oven Firefighters responded to a call in Southeast Portland today to find a smoldering spray paint can in the attic of a woman’s home. The Oregonian reports that […]
Health
Posted inEvents
Mustaches in The Name of Men’s Health
Seems like every time you turn around in this town there’s occasion to grow a mustache, so it’s understandable if you didn’t know that November Movember was a dedicated month for men to grow some lip hair in an awareness of men’s health and the fight against cancer, and all that good stuff. Even if […]
Posted inHealth
The Most Uncomfortable Shoes in The World
There’s a good chance I’m going to die from Morton’s Neuroma, guys. I’m not joking! The main cause of it is high heeled shoes, and at 5’1″ I’m not going to stop wearing them anytime soon. In fact, as I age, and begin to shrink, I plan to wear them higher and higher to compensate. […]
Posted inHealth
Your Tuesday Afternoon Health Advisory
Headlines and viral videos this week taught us a few things we didn’t know about our own health and safety. For instance, did you know you can travel by air absolutely free if you’re willing to simply risk hypothermia and the occasional 5,000 foot free fall? Well, it turns out stowing yourself away inside the […]
Posted inGirls Only!
It’s White Power/Breast Cancer Awareness Day, Ya’ll!
In case you’re wondering, racists get breast cancer, too! That’s why it’s vitally important for all racists—no matter what color they are, but they better be white—to check your private parts RIGHT FUCKING NOW for any sign of breast cancer…. especially in your testicles. EXTREMELY AWKWARD PEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAACCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Oh, look. She also does an extremely awkward […]
Posted inHealth
You Be the Unlicensed Doctor!
Let’s play “YOU BE THE UNLICENSED DOCTOR” where I describe my current medical malady, and you—as an unlicensed, fairly ignorant armchair physician—try to diagnose my problem! OKAY! HERE ARE THE SYMPTOMS: I wake up this morning, eat breakfast (Nature’s Best Optimum Power with vanilla soymilk and bananas), and walk into the bathroom where MY RIGHT […]
Posted inFood and Drink
We’re Drinkin’ Beasties Too!
Recently the Internets went Kah-Razy after learning the New York municipal water supply was home to these little darlings: That’s an “invisible” crustacean called a copepod. It’s similar to a shrimp. Most chagrined by the news? New York’s kosher community for whom shellfish is forbidden. But guess which city has over a million thumbs and […]
Posted inFashion
PSA: Black Leggings Cause Dengue (And God Knows What Else)
Here’s one way to force people to give up moldy fashion trends: Thai health authorities are warning women to give up wearing the still-popular tight black legging look, because over half of this year’s fatalities from dengue were females between the ages of 10 and 24, which is not so coincidentally the age at which […]
Posted inHealth
Fun With Laser Eye Surgery
On Friday afternoon I did something I’ve wanted to do since I was seven years old and got my first pair of glasses: I got LASIK! People keep asking me to describe what it was like, and the closest comparison I can make is that it was a lot like how people describe having been […]
Posted inHealth
Convincing People to Drink Less Soda
Advising people that they can lose 15-25 pounds in a year if they “skip one regular soda per day” and drink water or diet pop instead doesn’t work. Jacking up the price does: During a four-week period when the price of a 20-ounce bottle of soda went up by 45 cents—which amounted to a 35% […]
Posted inEthics
Female Genital Mutilation at Cornell University
While the whole world was debating the American Academy of Pediatrics’ position on “female genital cutting”—the AAP was against it before they were for it, and now, after an outcry, they’re against it again—Alice Dreger and Ellen Feder have been raising the alarm about “medical research” currently being conducted at Cornell University. A pediatric urologist […]
Posted inFood and Drink
Coca-Cola™ Introduces 100 More Reasons to be Unhealthy
The future of soda? No thanks. Coca-Cola has begun distributing a new soda fountain machine called the Coca-Cola Freestyle. The machine features over 100 different flavors of soda and promises to provide “the ultimate soda experience.” Comes in three rad colors. I know what you are thinking: “100 choices? That doesn’t seem like much at […]