At 9AM, we rode up to the Cycle Oregon tent city on a Harley Davidson. At 10AM, Pendleton broke a world record today for having the most horses ever in a parade. 1,300 horses. That’s a lot of horse shit, too. You must look at these photos of it all. Old woman with gun. Old […]
Hillbilly
Posted inHillbilly
Hello From Pendleton! (Also: I’m Going to Hell)
I just woke up on a sofa in Pendleton, OR, extremely hung over. I cannot begin to describe the extent of my headache, but I also don’t know where the Advil is stored in this house I’m crashing at. The novelty air rifle and 40-inch TV, however, are quite visible. Also, there’s a dunk tank […]
Posted inHillbilly
The Daily Show Decimates “Gay Nazi Historian”
Oh, Scott Lively. Yesterday I would’ve been happy if you’d never been born, but today, I thank God for making you the ridiculously entertaining idiot you are.
Posted inTech
Flame Thrower vs. Fire Extinguisher: ON WHICH DO YOU WAGER?!?
In this video for the Dancing Pigeons’ song “Ritalin” two hillbillies answer the eternal, previously unanswered question: Which would win in a fight: a flame thrower or a fire extinguisher? Answer: When two hillbillies fight with a flame thrower and a fire extinguisher, EVERYBODY WINS. via
Posted inHomo
The National Organization for Marriage’s Summer Tour Continues
Following their hilariously lame “scare ad,” the National Organization for Marriage produces another lame blast of video hype for their summer tour. Thanks again to Towleroad, which continues to rule the NOM beat.
Posted inHillbilly
Happy Fourth of July from Blogtown!
Here at Blogtown, we’ll be taking a long weekend to spend time with our families, shoot off some fireworks, and deep throat some corn dogs. (Not necessarily in that order.) Be sure to join us again on Tuesday when we’ll be back in full force, with the latest in news, entertainment, and JUSTIN BIEBER. In […]
Posted inHillbilly
More Patriotic Than You: Babies
Seriously, guys? SERIOUSLY? Now you’re allowing BABIES to be more patriotic than you? I know I was disparaging you people earlier for your lack of patriotism—but I was hoping that by shaming you, you’d eventually shape up. BUT LOOK WHAT HAPPENED. While you were riding your fixies, and posing for commie propaganda posters, BABIES blew […]
Posted inHillbilly
More Patriotic than You: Alligators
When it comes to patriotism, you and the people running this stupid newspaper/blog really need to step it up. Read more about that here. For the moment, I’m just going to point out people and things that are more patriotic than you. Let’s start with alligators. The alligators in this video are more patriotic than […]
Posted inCrime
Only in Utah!
Ugh: A Utah mom allegedly doctored a pornographic photo of a woman having sex with a dog, superimposing into the picture the face of a 13-year-old girl who attends middle school with her daughter. Danette Stark, 37, appeared in court Monday to face 18 counts of sexual exploitation of a minor. Prosecutors said she created […]
Posted inHillbilly
The Haters are Coming to Grant High School
Proper learnin’ I feel conflicted posting about this again, as it’s just adding fuel to a mindless quest for attention, but maybe you’re interested. As previously reported, the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas (a.k.a. the “God Hates Fags” crew) is coming to picket outside Grant High School tomorrow. Why, you may ask, do they […]
Posted inNews
Today in Hillbilly
Alabama? YOU ARE ON A ROLL! Today’s hillbilly headline of the day from The Birmingham News: A Jefferson County teacher picked the wrong example when he used assassinating President Barack Obama as a way to teach angles to his geometry students. The teacher was apparently teaching his geometry students about parallel lines and angles, officials […]
Posted inPolitics
Today in Hillbilly Political Candidates
2010: The Year of the Hillbilly Candidate! Perhaps you saw this racist bullshit. And maybe you even saw this just as racist bullshit. Well, here’s an ad that’s not so much racist as it is completely freaking ignorant to the basic premise of EVOLUTION. But we’re talking about hillbillies here… so maybe I shouldn’t be […]