Courtney Ferguson One of these things is not like the other. Answer (of sorts) after the jump. Okay, follow my logic. I’m pretty sure that the makers of these “spooky” tombstones meant to write John Wayne Gacy in that second one. Why, you ask? Because just to the left of these tombstones is this electric […]
Oh, You Kids!
Posted inTV
Mitt Can’t Kill Big Bird
One of the high blood-pressure takeaways from Tuesday night’s presidential debate—other than Obama’s belly flop—was Mitt Romney’s assertion that he would stop subsidies to PBS, even though he “loves” Big Bird. This of course enflamed the liberal masses, inspiring a vitriolic outburst to TMZ from Geordi LaForge (okay, fine… LaVar “Reading Rainbow” Burton”)… LeVar tells […]
Posted inEvents
Today in Terror: The Eyes of Disney on Ice
We get a lot of promotional trinkets in the office—sometimes we’re not sure why. Example: Here’s the “Disney on Ice” promo bag that was delivered to the Mercury and somehow found its way to my desk. Now, I’m predisposed to loathe anything “on ice,” unless it’s shrimp or four fingers of Bulleit Rye. HOWEVER! They […]
Posted inMusic
Tearjerker of the Day: Krispy Kreme Makes Up with Money Maker Mike
As internet video lovers already know, the relationship between rapper Krispy Kreme and Money Maker Mike is a thing of legend. HOWEVER. The web blew the eff up after Krispy apparently gave the gas face to Mike and proclaimed his love for Daniel Tosh (???) in this admittedly crunkin’ video entitled, “Me and Daniel Tosh.” […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
New Blog Series: Stupid, Stupid Teenager!
Thanks to the hilarious popularity of the side-splitting Blogtown series “Stupid, Stupid Baby™”, we’ve decided to make even MORE money by spinning it off into a brand new series titled… wait for it… “Stupid, Stupid Teenager!” Oh, what fun we’ll have, laughing at the endless mirth provided by those rambunctious, free-wheeling teens! So what are […]
Posted inTV
Ninja Turtles Too Cool to Say “Cowabunga” Anymore, I Guess
As mentioned in I Love Television™ (and Erik mentioned last week), Nickelodeon has brought back the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles—but now they’re represented in the ever-popular CGI style, and no longer say “Cowabunga.” The new catchphrase—according to exec producer Ciro Nieli to EW—is Ali G’s “Booyakasha.” At long last, here’s the reasoning behind this earth-changing […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Amy Poehler Has Advice for You—and By “You,” I Mean SPECIFICALLY YOU.
Amy Poehler’s “Ask Amy” internet segments in which she gives fantastic advice to troubled teens are undeniably AWESOME. But today she has some advice that is specifically designed for every person in our editorial department and probably YOU, the socially inept awkward Portlander. Check it out, and check out Amy’s special guest star! (Also an […]
Posted inTV
Today in Inappropriate (But OH, So Appropriate) Kids Halloween Costumes
Parents who dress their children up as Walt and Jesse from Breaking Bad for Halloween: Bad parents, good parents, or fucking awesome parents? Hat tips to Zeppelin Girl.
Posted inTransportation
British Road Rage Beats American Road Rage
People who drive pickup trucks—especially those huge 4X4s—ARE… THE… WORST. They are terrible people who exert their terribleness on everyone else… especially when they are driving. So if you have one of these trucks, please watch the following British PSA against road rage, starring a bunch of adorable cockney children in toy cars. (People who […]
Posted inFood and Drink
What’s Weird About a Priest in Shorts Squirting Whipped Cream on His Knees Then Having Children Lick It Off?
This is good Catholic leadership, people.
Posted inMusic
Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong Throws Best Temper Tantrum EVARRR!!
In our continuing effort to find things that happened this weekend that were WAAAAY more entertaining than the Emmys (frankly, it’s not at all difficult), check out this absolutely brilliant, hilarious, and mind-blowing temper tantrum thrown by Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day after learning his set at the iHeartRadio Music Festival in Vegas was […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Stupid, Stupid… Make that “Creepy, Creepy Baby!”
Heh… heh. Ummm… look, Charlie. I wasn’t going to call you stupid or anything. SERIOUSLY! You’re a very, very, VERY intelligent little baby from the looks of you, and really! Even if I were to accidentally and stupidly insult you, is that a reason to resort to violence? OF COURSE NOT. Ha, ha, ha. We’re […]