Sarah Mirk wrote about this when it opened but I’d like to add my two cents. Specifically how it feels like the whole thing was built for about two cents. I love aquariums (aquaria?) more than almost anything and this one is not without charm. Watch crabs crawl over each other and not get caught […]
Oh, You Kids!
Posted inTV
The Mythbusters’ Brand Of Fake Science Takes OMSI
Mythbusters is one of my favorite shows that I’m not on. OMSI is one of my favorite places to spend $28 to have children push me out of the way so they can play with the block crane when I WANTED TO PLAY WITH THE BLOCK CRANE. And now those two things have come together […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Stupid, Stupid Baby: The Trick Shot
HEY! Yeah, YOU! The stupid baby with the basketball! What are you going to do with the basketball, you stupid baby? You think you can shoot it into the basket? HAAAAA!! I would love to see you try. I would just LOVE to see a stupid, idiot baby like you pick up a basketball, and […]
Posted inTransportation
Because It’s Never to Early to Learn About the Pleasures of Security Theater
Behold the Amazon page for the Playmobil Security Check Point, which comes with an adorable metal detector, little plastic x-ray machine, two FAA agents, some luggage, and a highly suspicious “passenger.” But don’t miss the delightful reviews: I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Django Unchained Action Figures: CONDEMN OR ALLOW?!?
Soooooooo. If you hop over to amazon.com you can now purchase “action figures” of characters from Quentin Tarantino’s controversial film Django Unchained… including slave owner “Candie,” “Stephen,” and this one depicting “Broomhilda.” Ahem.
Posted inMusic
Cat Doorman’s Album and App for Kids
Artist/musician Julianna Bright (of the Golden Bears) has a new, kid-friendly project in the works: Cat Doorman. And there is an album of children’s music on the way—Cat Doorman Songbook, which is pretty adult-friendly as well. You can take a listen to it in full over on Soundcloud (or below); the CD also includes a […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
A Better Way to Dispose of Your Christmas Tree
In this week’s Mercury, Sarah Mirk wrote of two Portland men who gallantly shot a hot dog into space. That was pretty cool. However, was it as cool as these guys who turned their Christmas tree into a rocket? I don’t know the answer to that question. Shoot me into space and I’ll think about […]
Posted inDrunk
Your New Year’s Plans: Drink Some Cider, Cider!
If you’re anything like me, you’re going to partay down tonight with some mother-lovin’ CIDER, my boyz und bizzies! And here are some children who are really feeling my cider steez—the Tempura Kidz singing, “Cider Cider”! (I love kids, I love tempura, and I love cider. Win, win, WIN in 2013, y’all!) Cider not your […]
Posted inHorrors
Parenting Tip: Have a Demon to Put Your Kids to Bed
Parents! Do you have a devil of a time putting your children to bed every night? Then take a tip from this Japanese TV show that employs a DEMON to make sure some noisy, energetic kids get the sleep they need. Or, perhaps never sleep again.
Posted inCity Hall
Oh, Right! Almost Forgot! We’re Getting a Fluoride Vote in 2013!
Like we all knew would happen, the Portland City Council yesterday officially moved up a referendum on putting fluoride in the water to May 2013—a full year earlier than fluoride foes had been hoping for when they went out gathering tens of thousands of signatures in hopes of summarily ending the whole affair. It was […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Reminder! The World Ends Tomorrow.
Just a friendly reminder that the world is ending tomorrow, Friday, Dec 21, and it might be a good idea to get your affairs in order. That’s what we’re doing today at the Mercury—right after our holiday white elephant gift exchange. (Does anybody have the exact time the world ends tomorrow? I’d like to get […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Kids: Okay, Fine, They’re the Best
I admit it: I’m still a goddamn mess today—even after having a weekend to process what happened Friday. But, like you, I’m doing the best I can and it’s good to remember that kids are the best, and the hilarious stuff they do can make a shitty day like today a lot better. Check out […]