Demonic possession. (Don’t worry, he can help!) Thank you, Right Wing Watch.
Oh, You Kids!
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Today in “Oh, You Kids of Today!”
Here we have Carly Rae Jepsen—she of the 2012 summer jam “Call Me Maybe”—absolutely butchering the ceremonial first pitch before the Houston Astros/Tampa Bay Rays game. Your browser does not support iframes. Here we have Shia LaBeouf eye-boning a motorcycle driver at a stop light. STOP EYE-BONING ME, SHIA LABEOUF!! Here we have incontrovertible evidence […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Stupid, Stupid Baby: Why Are You Crying, Stupid, Stupid Baby?
Let’s take a quick break from our regular Stupid, Stupid Baby series to give a standing ovation to one of bestest Tumblrs ever: Reasons My Son Is Crying. Parents send in a pic of their stupid, stupid baby crying, and furnish the reason why their stupid, stupid baby is crying underneath. I LOVE THIS SO […]
Posted inHorrors
Nope, Nope, Absolutely Not, Nope
Nope. Don’t do it. No. Absolutely not. You do not want to go there. Trust me on this, just say no. Say nope, say nada, say no way. DO… NOT. Tempted to press “play”? Simply don’t. I did—and I regret it. In the top 100 regrettable things I’ve done in my life, this ranks at […]
Posted inTV
Hey Child-Like Adults! Beware the Batman Trailer!
If you’re a fan of the mid-90s style of Batman cartoonies that had a little bit of a darker edge to them—think Batman: The Animated Series, and Batman Beyond—check out this trailer for Cartoon Network’s newest batty outing Beware the Batman. It debuts July 13, and it’s all CG and shit! (Prepare your excuses for […]
Posted inMusic
Beatboxing for Dummies
Are you ashamed of your beatboxing skills? WELL, YOU SHOULD BE! They’re terrrrrrible! And now you’re too ashamed to ask for help, right? WELL, YOU SHOULD BE! However, don’t tell nobody, but here’s an absolutely adorable and EASY tutorial on beatboxing that will improve your craptastic no-skillz 200 percent in less than a minute. (Extra […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Karaoke Lovers Rejoice: New Voicebox Slated for Southeast
The Portland Business Journal has the story; Scott Simon the owner of the Voicebox karaoke lounge on NW 21st & Hoyt is opening up a second location—this time in the far more convenient (for me anyway) southeast: Scott Simon opened the original Voicebox in Northwest Portland in 2008. He announced this week he has leased […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Man Ejected from Disney World After Leaving Hollow-Point-Bullet-Loaded Gun on Dinosaur Ride
Oops… A Walt Disney World park guest found a loaded gun in the seat of a ride at the Animal Kingdom that had fallen out of a man’s back pocket on Sunday. A grandmother handed a Cobra .380-caliber semiautomatic pistol about noon to a park attendant, who immediately contacted security and the Orange County Sheriff’s […]
Posted inNews
Panic, Parents! No More Dora on Netflix!
As you’ve probably heard, Netflix recently lost a sizable number of offerings on their streaming service—nothing extremely damaging, because it wasn’t all that great to begin with. HOWEVER! If you’re a parent who loves letting the TV do your parenting for you (not judging, at all, promise) then you won’t be psyched to hear this […]
Posted inSports
Spider-Man Has an Okay Jump Shot
We may not be fans the Amazing Spider-Man reboot franchise, but here’s star Andrew Garfield being a good guy by playing basketball with some local kids DRESSED IN HIS SPIDER-MAN COSTUME. (He’s apparently taking a break from the set of the Amazing Spider-Man sequel.) Kudos to Garfield for not hopping up on top of the […]
Posted inGeek
Are You Geekier Than a Four-Year-Old?
CHALLENGE! Do you know more about Marvel super heroes than four-year-old Mia strapped in her car seat? Let’s find out when we play (cue music)… DO YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT MARVEL SUPER HEROES THAN FOUR-YEAR-OLD MIA STRAPPED IN HER CAR SEAT? (audience applause) Good luck contestants, and let’s begin!
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Stupid, Stupid Baby: Acccck!! MY HEART!!
Hey! STUPID BABY! Yeah, you! What are you doing with that dummy, DUMMY? You actually think you’re smart enough to perform CPR? HAAA! Right! You’re too freaking STUPID to… ugggnnh. UGGGGGNNNNHH. Ow, ow, ow, my chest really hurts! And my arm! My arm is totally numb!! OH, GOD… NO. No, this can’t be happening to […]