With my sincerest apologies for the world in which we live: a photo series, which also includes the Hello Kitty maternity suite and theme park. Also: Hello Kitty bride and groom—you cannot unsee that.
Oh, You Kids!
Posted inTV
Rick Santorum: The Pied Piper of Fecal Matter
In news obviously designed to make us ill, Rick Santorum has 21 new supporters: The Dugger family from the TLC show 19 Kids and Counting (another one of those skin-crawling reality shows that insidiously mock and glorify couples who choose to have waaaaaaay more children than anyone could ever possibly need). Patriarch Jim Bob Dugger—of […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Stupid, Stupid Baby: How to Quiet a Crying Stupid, Stupid Baby
Got a stupid, stupid crying baby at home that JUST… WON’T… SHUT… UP? Well, first of all, you have no one to blame but yourself. Those are your genes the stupid baby is carrying, after all. However, while you certainly deserve the punishment of endless squalling from a mentally deprived idiot baby, your neighbors and […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Muppets’ “Mahna Mahna” Song Came From the Most Boring Porn Film Ever
Largely due to The Muppets and other inscrutable factors, I was berated by the “Mahna Mahna” song all Thanksgiving weekend. Someone whispered to me that this song was originally from a Swedish Italian softcore porn flick called Heaven and Hell—and lo and behold! Someone was right! From Slate: In the tradition of the shocking, factually […]
Posted inMusic
Sasquatch Announces Dates and Goes on Sale (No Lineup Yet Though)
The annual Sasquatch! Music Festival is the Northwest’s biggie, three or four days of big-name bands filling multiple stages in the stunning setting of the Gorge in Central Washington. Every year it falls on Memorial Day weekend, and 2012 will be no exception, as the festival just announced this morning. The next Sasquatch! will fall […]
Posted inMusic
Your Children Are a Disappointment
This has been making the rounds, but it’s good enough to re-post here to lighten up a gray Monday. Think your kids are special and gifted? You won’t, after watching these eight- to 10-year-olds (known collectively as the Mini Band) perform Metallica’s “Enter Sandman.” It sounds better than Metallica has sounded for the past 18 […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Today In “Swiss People Do Things”
And here’s yet another reason why those goddamn Swedes will be our children’s bosses: THEY ACTUALLY DO THINGS OTHER THAN PLAYING VIDEOGAMES AND TWEETING EMOTICONS. Admittedly, the things they do are really stupid. But they are still things. Unlike whatever it is that you’re pretending to do today. Via.
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Another Dream Crushed, Courtesy of Slightly Racist Mom
On one hand, Mom is probably right: This young man will probably never grow up to be a great breakdancer. On the other hand—was there really a need to bring Asians into this? (To Mom’s credit, Asian breakdancers are the best.) via
Posted inTV
Re: SpongeBob Down… Now with Video!
My earlier post about an “incident” involving two women and SpongeBob SquarePants didn’t have a lot of detail at the time—but now? WE HAVE VIDEO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Gossip site TMZ provides the following clip which shows the two women getting into a squabble with, and then, opening up a can of non-porous whup-ass on […]
Posted inTV
SpongeBob Down
I love this picture from yesterday’s edition of the L.A. Times SO MUCH. Photography by Steve Boelhouwer If you’re interested in the story behind the photo… it’s after the jump. From the Los Angeles Times: A man dressed as SpongeBob SquarePants was detained by police outside Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, officials said Wednesday. The […]
Posted inComedy
Here’s Your Ass-Clenching Comedy of the Day
Neophyte comedian Justin Hagerman won a “funniest guy around” radio contest, and was given the opportunity to perform his act on a local morning talk show, in front of a live studio audience. He was allegedly told he could perform the same jokes he did on the radio. He was NOT told that the studio […]
Posted inArtsy
BREAKING: Stargate Lego Thing Sweeps Oregon State Fair’s Lego Contest!
Last week, Alison Hallett blogged about going to the state fair; in said blog entry, she tasked me with reviewing the fair’s various nerd-centric Lego displays. Yes: The Oregon State Fair has a Lego contest. I didn’t know about it either until I looked up and was all, “Oh, hey, Legos. Those don’t smell like […]