HEY, STUPID! Yeah, you! STUPID BABY. Let’s see if you can do one thing other than crap in your diaper. Pick up that melon. Pick up that melon, you stupid baby! Just… just… put your hands underneath it, and… NO! Jesus, stupid! Those aren’t your hands! Okay… okay… now lift with your knees and… oh […]
Oh, You Kids!
Posted in?!?!?
Soviets Winning in “Flying Little Girl” Race
Now my Russian isn’t what it used to be—in fact, the only word I know is “nyet”—but this is what I think this Russian newscaster is saying: ROOSKIE NEWS ANCHOR: A man and a dog panicked today after stumbling upon a flying little girl. The man and dog were walking through the woods recently, when […]
Posted inTV
Mr. McFeely and the Terrifying Purple Panda
Even though the thoroughly enjoyable Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood is no more, his old sidekick/speedy delivery man Mr. McFeely (David Newell) is still working the kindergarten circuit. But now he’s touring with his absolutely terrifying pal, “Purple Panda” who hilariously scares the living crap out of the children in this video. In McFeely’s defense, those kids […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Hunger Games Barbie: CONDEMN OR ALLOW?!?
via Popwatch I’m not exactly sure why I was surprised by this—but! Mattel is yes, indeedy marketing a “Katniss Everdeen” Barbie, which is available for pre-sale now, and will hit the toy shelves in August. From Popwatch: Designers at Mattel created Katniss’ look by going straight to the source and examining the actual costume that […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Alicia Silverstone Feeds Her Baby (Bird)
Oh, god… I don’t know how to introduce this. OKAY! Meet it head on, I guess. Here is a video of Alicia Silverstone (Clueless, Batman & Robin) feeding her kid like a baby bird—which is to say, chewing up her food and spitting it into his mouth. I feel bad about this. On the one […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Freeze Your Nubbies off for Free Shit at Mt Hood Meadows while I and The Other Sane People Wear Wool Inside and Drink Hot Tea
So it’s the old bathing-suit-in-the-snow trick, eh? Unless I’m being paid a $9,000 day rate to pose for a world-famous photographer or in a really bad situation that you should probably do me a solid and call the cops about, being in the snow wearing a bathing suit ain’t gonna friggin’ happen. However, I’m told […]
Posted inSex
Dan Savage’s MTV Show Debuts April 3! And Porno Pete Is Going Nuts!
MTV recently released the trailer for Savage U, which premieres Tuesday after next on, uh, MTV. Get More: Savage U, Full Episodes Peter LaBarbara, president of the designated hate group Americans for Truth About Homosexuality and full-time Savage obsessive, is freaking the fuck out. From the AFTAH press release: AFTAH Calls on Viacom Inc. to […]
Posted inTV
“19 Reasons & Counting to Vote for Rick Santorum”
A plague o’ Duggars take turns praising Santorum. Speaking of the worthless opinions of inappropriately spilled seed, the crispy T-shirt under my bed endorses Ron Paul. Thank you, Christian Nightmares.
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Stupid, Stupid Baby: Bubbles.
Dear Stupid, Stupid Baby:You are fucking stupid. That is all.Sincerely yours,Wm.™ Steven Humphrey P.S. I wish those were acid bubbles.
Posted inOh, You Kids!
A Hot Transformers Tip from “surfnskate96@gmail.com”
In my inbox, from “surfnskate96@gmail.com”: Hi Erik,Have you guys seen this footage of the new transformers ride, looks off the chain, if you post it will you give me a mention: http://youtu.be/ueItDRlbwQg -dave Huh. What a weird coincidence. (Post-script: If you’re the unfortunate, clumsy publicist for Universal Studios’ crappy Transformers ride, please, I beg you, […]