Modern Family‘s Ariel Winter stars in this live action trailer for the imaginary Dora the Explorer movie, which puts a hilarious spin on… HEY! Swiper no swiping, Swiper no swiping, SWIPER, NO SWIPING!! (Snap! “Oh, maaaaan.”) CollegeHumor’s Favorite Funny Videos
Oh, You Kids!
Posted inComic Books
DC’s Greatest Heroes are Actually British Kids Eating Cookies
In this OMIGOD SO ADORABLE clip produced by DC Nation for the Cartoon Network, claymation representations of Superman, Batman, the Joker, and Catwoman are voiced by six-year-old British kids. Because, OF COURSE, and because we never really want to watch anything else.
Posted inComedy
Stupid, Stupid Baby: The Joke
Three things, you stupid baby! 1) Your dad thinks he’s funny—HE’S NOT. 2) I pretty sure you’re not patronizing him, which means you actually think his absolutely terrible joke is actually funny. IT’S NOT. 3) You might think that comedy is subjective—IT’S NOT. Therefore you are a STUPID, STUPID BABY. You are. UGH! STUPID… BABY!!!
Posted inReligion
Time for Vacation Bible School! (Maybe Not This One, Though.)
When I was a kid, we didn’t have those fancy-pantsy summer camp programs all the kids enjoy today. We had three choices for how to spend our three months of vacation:1) Riding bikes and throwing dirt clods.2) Watching cartoons and buying comic books.3) Going to Vacation Bible School.And while going to Vacation Bible School was […]
Posted inMusic
Damn You, Carly Rae Jepsen!! You’ve Done it Again!
As you undoubtedly know, my fickle infatuation for Justin Bieber (that only lasted for two years) has all but vanished and has been replaced by former Canadian Idol finalist and singer of the greatest song of the summer (“Call Me Maybe”) Carly Rae Jepsen. UGH! I’m too busy to love her so much! Anyway, guess […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Disney Ruins Dreams of Teenage Tinkerbell (Who, Actually, Should Know Better)
In this video, a teenage girl dresses her and her boyfriend up like Tinkerbell and Peter Pan (mistake #1), and tries to get into Disney World (mistake #2), where they are forced to change their clothes. OH! And she cries on a TV news report about it (mistake #3).
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Peers Name Same-Sex Pair “Cutest Couple” In Yearbook
And it happened in a conservative, rural part of the country—a little good news: In a community known for its conservative values, the high school senior class chose the only openly-lesbian students as “cutest couple.” Destinee Gates was as surprised as anybody that she and her girlfriend, Becca Fernandez, beat out at least three other […]
Posted inFood and Drink
The Mystery of the Dum Dum “Mystery” Pops
Everyone loves “Dum Dum” lollipops—and it should be federal law that every restaurant offers them for free after each meal. However! What’s the deal with those “mystery” Dum Dums? The ones adorned with a purple wrapper and question marks? Mental Floss provides the interesting answer: Some Dum Dums have wrappers with question marks where the […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Tonight! The Meat Cheese Bread Pinewood Derby Race
I eat a lot of Meat Cheese Bread breakfast burritos. It is a somewhat shameful thing to admit to the internet, but I am a burrito regular. (Though that might taper off somewhat now that Wolf and Bear’s has re-opened their Southeast location.) While I was there this morning enjoying my third burrito of the […]
Posted inFood and Drink
The Top Ten Sno-Cone Makers Ever Made
Because no one can enjoy a private conversation around the Mercury offices without me butting in with my opinions, the following happened: Salesperson Marissa: (to Katie) I’m getting my boyfriend a sno-cone machine for his birthday! Here’s a picture: General manager Katie: That is so cool! He’s gonna love th… Steve: SNORRRRRE! That is a […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Here’s that Visual Birth Control You Ordered!
Thinking about having sex today? ME, TOO!! Or at least I was before I saw this video compilation featuring the 39 creepiest kids ever to grace the big screen. Because you see, I already know my sperm is defective. And I will surely breed one of these freaking terrifying children… probably one of the glowy-eyed […]
Posted inSex
Magic School Bus Kids Remind Us that Sperm Baths Aren’t So Bad
I’m convinced that kids used to be tougher in the old days. Take for example this clip from The Magic School Bus, season one, episode 34 in which the School Bus kids are literally covered with salmon sperm. The spoiled brats of today would be screaming, “WAHHH!! WAHHH!! There’s gallons of salmon sperm in my […]