No. Seriously. We’re having roadkill for dinner. On our first date, my wife Kitty seduced me with an omelet. It was a light and lovely thing: flavorful and perfectly done. But it took years before we could share the kitchen. Preparing meals together would sometimes lead to hurt feelings, or the overwhelming urge to commit […]
Sex
Posted inSex
Who are the Sexiest People in Portland?
Ladies and Gentlemen of Portland: It’s time to rise up and and point your fingers at the sexiest people our radical city has to offer. We’re looking for the hottest pieces of tail in Portland for our March 12 “SEX ISSUE” and we need your help. Simply add their photo to the Mercury’s Flickr page […]
Posted inSex
Sexy Portland
As you may have read, the Mercury is gearing up for our annual sex issue (due out March 12), and this year’s sex survey (guess who we were inspired by!) should be in your hot little hands by the end of the day. So sharpen your pencils (JK—please fill it out online if you can, […]
Posted inSex
SEDUCTION (The ’80s Way)
Valentine’s day is coming, and you’re a loser that can’t get none. HEY, DON’T GET MAD AT ME. Until you’re ready to help yourself become a successful seducer, there’s nothing I can do for you. And you can start with this helpful clip from the ’80s, appropriately entitled, “The Video Guide to Successful Seduction.” I […]
Posted inNews
Beaver State Loses Top Strip Club Bragging Rights
BREAKING NEWS, guys. It’s a point of pride and/or chagrin in Portland that we have the most strip clubs per capita of anywhere in the country, but that rumor is statistic mostly just because everyone says it’s true. Okay, rumormongers, read it and weep: John Voge, editor of adult industry trade mag Exotic says Portland […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Most Awesome Van EVER (circa 1984)
Behold! The most awesome rape van* ever (at least I would’ve fallen for it back in 1984)… THE NEVERENDING STORY VAN! Omigod! And get this! The Neverending Story is on the passenger side, and scenes from The Neverending Story II is on the driver’s side! EEEEEEEEE!!! And check out these close ups! Atreyu & Artax! […]
Posted inPortland
Porn Store/Not a Porn Store
One of the news stories in this week’s print edition is about Montavilla neighbors’ discussion over a state senator’s new attempt to regulate where strip clubs and other “sexually-oriented businesses” can operate in Oregon. The idea that the state should allow cities to zone sex stores to specific areas is getting traction in Montavilla because […]
Posted inFood and Drink
Rommelmann Unclothed?
Local food writer and freelance journalist Nancy Rommelmann has made a pledge to take off her clothes for charity. In a blog post yesterday, Rommelmann promised to remove an item of clothing for every $50 donated to the Oregon Food Bank as part of the Blog for Food benefit. Rommelmann to take it off Blog […]
Posted inMedia
What Goes Around Comes…Er…Around…
Spotted by a vigilant reader of today’s New York Times: Editors’ Note An article on Saturday about Sam Adams, the mayor of Portland, who is under fire after admitting that in 2005 he had a sexual relationship with an 18-year-old intern, included a quotation from Christopher Stowell, the artistic director for the Oregon Ballet Theater, […]
Posted inSex
At Last! A Dating Site Just for You!
Here at the Mercury, we get some very peculiar e-mails: press releases, spam, what have you. But opening today’s Inbox revealed a particularly strange e-mail, sent to us from “Satan,” and bearing the subject line “Soulmates from the Darkside.”The email reads: Some times it’s fun when things go “Bump in the night”. DevilDates.com (The first […]
Posted inSex
The Office (Now in Triple XXX!!)
If you’re like me, you find it difficult to watch NBC’s hilarious Thursday evening line-up of “Must See TV” and still find time to masturbate. Thankfully, “porn” has come to the rescue once again with a new triple XXX parody of The Office, appropriately titled, The Office: A XXX Parody. (I’m pretty sure their lawyers […]