What does the fox say? Probably “GRRRRRR I CRAVE HUMAN FLESH.” JMrocek / iStock / Getty Images Plus Happy New Week, friends, and welcome to another round of gossip and garbage from yours truly. To clarify, it’s not my trash; I am merely your guide on this journey. I’m actually very careful about how much […]
The Trash Report
Posted inGossip
Bad Celebrities and Good Animals (Also, Scary Animals!)
“I have lived through 12 different presidential administrations.” DenisTangneyJr / GETTY IMAGES Happy Monday, and welcome to another edition of The Trash Report, where I rummage around the back alleys of the internet to turn another man’s news trash into our reading treasure. About the Oscars (But Not That Thing) It’s been one hell of […]
Posted inGossip
Good Shade, Bad Vibes, and Ugly Shoes
Racist baby vs. anti-racist baby. Win McNamee/Getty Images HELLO, and welcome back to The Trash Report, where I will serve as your human raccoon to sift through the dumpsters and bring you all the best in gossip, gross-outs, nonsense, and no-thank-yous. Mmm, and she’s mighty rank this week. Let’s dig in! Ted Cruz: National Garbage […]
Posted inGossip
Elk Outrage, Horny Mature Whales, and GOP Baby-Nappers!
Meet Oregon’s favorite horny whale, Orange Knuckles! Larry Rains / iStock / Getty Images Hi there! I think we all had a good time with the inaugural Trash Report last week, so I’ve written another one and I hope it puts a little zig in your zag. A little cream in your coffee. A little […]
Posted inGossip
All the Cool Kids Had COVID, Avril Lavigne’s “Complicated” B-day, and Love in the Floral Aisle of Trader Joe’s
Avril Lavigne: “You know what’s complicated? The grueling passage of time.” Anna Webber / Getty Images Happy Monday, everyone! It’s me, Elinor Jones. As we all know, this online content experience formerly known as “a newspaper” does a helluva job reporting on the news, be it local, national, global, or the entirety of space and […]