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Today on my way to work, I saw some guy totally lose his shit for what appeared to be a very minor reason, and then lay on his horn at the car in front of him for (I’m not exaggerating) at least one minute. Afterwards, I wonder if he felt like this guy: I yelled […]

Happy 3rd Birthday, the I, Anonymous Blog! Born roughly this week in 2011, the I, Anonymous Blog has been providing morally bankrupt entertainment ever since, and has become the second most popular feature on our already super popular site! AND YOU, THE BLOGTOWN COMMENTERS PREDICTED ITS SUCCESS! As always, we welcome your rants and confessions… […]

Justice has been served! (But you still have to wait in line for it.) Oh you’re quite a catch, cloney Mc Beardo at a NE 28th Street bar. Surely you noticed the three women in line at the bar, waiting to order, and you must have decided that by the third, you could wait no […]

Here’s an I, Anonymous from someone who has an unusual sense of humor: It was I who took your money, but I think you already know that. I saw you drop your shit as I was skating by, so I stopped to help and to my surprise, there’s a fat $20 on the ground with […]

Once again the eternal question is asked: “What’s Up with the Babies??” I don’t understand. Sex is a nice time and so is putting your hand on someone else’s waist. BUT FAMILIES???!!! I love children and working in teams but from my perspective the world is a big old mountain with piles of dung getting […]

Who wants to hear a banker read you the riot act? (WE DO! WE DO!) I understand you. Life can be so hard nowadays. But the way that some of you act – and I mean YOU, iPod Generationers – leaves me no hope for the future. Take banking, for instance. When did calling up […]

Hey “cool cities!” You’ve been put on notice: To all the formerly cool cities from Portland to Austin to NYC: You’ve all become as staid and boring as the suburbs you desperately tried to escape. Not only that, but your boring ethos has infested all the formerly cool neighborhoods in otherwise lame cities across the […]

Courtesy of the I, Anonymous guy who desperately wants us to pick up slang he’s invented, we present… The Peppuchino. Its a cappuchino with one shot of peppermint. You are welcome. Also you are going to start hearing people say “meither” now instead of “Me, Either”. You are also welcome for that. I don’t recall […]

Seriously? I’m not allowed to go into Sam’s anymore? Quit fucking with Sam’s! Sam’s is a pool hall/tavern that serves a great meal for around $10. It is NOT a place for free range organic beef, chicken, or gluten free dining. If you want that, Whole (paycheck) Foods has a cafe three blocks away. It […]

Waitasecond… you want to WHAT??? I want to fuck your girl. Wife or girlfriend, it doesn’t matter, I want to fuck them. I work in the service industry (this isn’t a tipping rant, THANK GOD), but I won’t say where. I engage with a lot people throughout the night and, for the most part, I’m […]