SHUT UP! SHUT UP! EVERYONE! You talk incessantly all day long. Not about anything that matters or of importance, I think you just love to hear your own voice. You think you are SO special because you have work meetings more frequently now and have to announce it constantly. This, on top of how you […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Sometimes magic happens on the I, Anonymous Blog. Usually, it’s in the comments section. Take this treacly bit of sludge from an anonymous sad-sack on Monday. The post, “Rain Today, Part 2” delves into the spirit of human kindness, in a most aggressive manner: Doing something for someone because your heart is filled with love […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
The following I, Anonymous author of “Getting Brushed Off” lobs this dating softball to the denizens of the I, Anonymous Blog: After date #1, he texted me that night telling me he had fun, that I’m cute and he hopes to see me again, soon. Needless to say, I was happy when he texted me […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
The following I, Anonymous author of “Why Isn’t My Lawn Grown?” ponders the “freakshow” existence of his neighbor’s fence. This dear scholar also does terrible, terrible things to the English language, while pondering why neighbor’s grass aren’t sprouted. Why, indeed, isn’t lawn grown? Could it be gophers? Might it be the lack of King Sun’s […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Oooooh! I hate it when Mr. Clueless does this! Dating, traditional or online, increases the risk of encountering some emotional crazies but you sir, are just clueless. We exchange a few emails, than numbers and have made a date to meet up in person for the first time, this Saturday. Since planning this date, you […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
CHURCH FIGHT! CHURCH FIGHT! CHURCH FIGHT! Go to hell, without a pretty please. And I’ll be right behind you to light your ass on fire. You don’t refer me to my name, but you love to order me around, and do shit for you. You don’t even know my name, but that’s okay. I will […]
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Plane vs. Ocean
It sounds like the search for the missing flight 370 may be shifting west, into the Indian Ocean. So how hard is it to find a Boeing 777 in the Indian Ocean*? Since we humans are so bad at contemplating things at massive scale (the solar system, for example), Rob Cockerham has helpfully translated this […]
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Did the Malaysian Airlines Plane Fly Four Hours After Disappearing?
The Wall Street Journal says this is the latest theory: U.S. investigators suspect that Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 stayed in the air for about four hours past the time it reached its last confirmed location, according to two people familiar with the details, raising the possibility that the plane could have flown on for hundreds […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
Think being “born and raised in Portland” makes you unique? THINK AGAIN, SHITHEAD! To the ladies on OKCupid who go on and on about being “born and raised in Portland.” With your “I’m one of the few people around whose actually from here,” go fuck yourself. If you’re from Portland, that’s cool. I’m from somewhere […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
More tips from the I, Anonymous Blog about how NOT to pick up women: Tell them you’re not picking them up. Men at the bar immediately insist they are not hitting on me. Do you wonder why I don’t want to talk to you after you insist you are not hitting on me? Here’s the […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
In a stunning display of camaraderie, an I, Anonymous Blog commenter has suggested “a get to know you covered dish party” to be organized by the Mercury. Of all the the people that comment to I,Anonymous, a really terrific idea would be to have the Portland Mercury throw a party at no cost to them, […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day!
A Portland stripper lays down the law for all you leering non-tippers out there… Holy fuck are Portlanders spoiled about strip clubs. I’m a dancer at one of the top rated and reviewed strip clubs in the city. I work incredibly hard to look good and entertain the crowd, and I’m sick as shit of […]