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Here’s the I, Anonymous quote… and THREAT… of the day. Guess what, Sallie Mae? YOU SUCK!!! The words “customer service” and “Sallie Mae” DO NOT go together. I have NEVER met such an uncaring organization. IN FACT! I am going to write an article on why students should NEVER get their student loans through you. […]

I’m just guessing, but I think either your grandpa (who fought in Korea) or your misogynist Uncle John from Wyoming wrote this one: My “manly” nephew sent the whole family an e-mail today with a picture of his newly groomed dog. The little tyke is all white and fluffy and may weigh five pounds. It’s […]

Some people are threatened by kids, but this guy? HE IS PETRIFIED. If you are the parent who DOESN’T has your children cover their coughs in public, please leave your sick and contagious kids at home you fucking chickenshit anus. You shouldn’t have even have them if you aren’t going to do your job. What […]

I agree with this guy… LET HIM HAVE THE TACOS! There was a guy trying to sell a few items (lighters, pens, his shoes, etc) on the corner of 52nd/SE Powell. The guy said he needed money to buy food (he wanted tacos from Taco Bell, which is right there). I didn’t have cash but […]

Man, so-called hipsters can’t escape the hate… even in the wilderness! Your fucking “camp vibes” won’t help you in the harsh realities of true adventure. It’s a cold, icy, dirty world in the backcountry and as someone who’s spent time as a dirt-bagging climber, I can assure you that retro poncho isn’t going to do […]

If you want someone to beg you nicely to take care of your pets, watch this. If you don’t want your lecture sugar-coated, read this. Having coordinated the (temporary) rescue of yet another cat I am begging you not to get a kitten unless you are planning on a lifetime commitment (and hopefully the cat […]

Words of wisdom, douchelords! Listen and learn… Dear students of a North Portland University that had a pub crawl last Wednesday: You have hit a new low. SantaCon brings in obnoxious bad tippers, and you guys made them look good. You socially crippled douchelords must have a required freshman course in how to alienate everyone […]

It’s true… nobody in the bagel shop gives two shits if you just got back from Nepal: Stop wasting everyone’s time while you dig through your change and sort out the “foreign currencies,” as you mumble something about how you’ve been abroad so long that our money looks strange. I’m not going to ask you […]

‘Tis the season for being thankful and showing gratitude to everyone… except maybe “THAT GUY.” Hey. That Guy. Cyclist who blows through stop signs. Man loudly talking on the phone on the bus. Ladies narrating the movie in the back of the cinema. Guy pushing through the crowd at the concert. Person who honks their […]

You can’t unhurt a feeling—especially when that feeling is caused by a Timbers Army scarf: In the kitchen I heard the cheers getting louder and louder and thought the game must have been going well. I came out with my arms full of plates of food for your hungry mates. As I walked past you […]