Guys, not getting enough sleep is a dangerous thing! And in some cases it can be DEADLY. Check out this I, Anonymous submission that involves a registered nurse, an AirBnB, and very nearly an accidental MURRRDERRRRRRRR. I am a Registered Nurse in a Portland hospital. Last night, I accidentally administered the wrong dose of a […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day: Pardon My Drone
Admittedly, some of the I, Anonymous blog submissions we receive are written by petty garbage humans. However, sometimes we get sweet, sincere apologies… from petty garbage humans. Check out this submission titled, “Pardon My Drone.” To the guys who were flying drones in the park: Regardless whether I found the drones annoying, it didn’t justify […]
Posted inBooks
Death-Positive Mortician Caitlin Doughty Wants You to Know the Grim Reaper’s Hand Is Up Your Butt
For the past several years, Caitlin Doughty’s delightful Ask a Mortician YouTube series has addressed everything from viking funerals to modern embalming practices to the corpse flower (AKA amorphophallus titanum, which is Latin for “giant, formless penis”). The self-described “funeral industry rabble-rouser” runs a nonprofit funeral home in Los Angeles and, in 2011, founded the […]
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The I, Anonymous Blog Quote o’ the Day: Cheap Ass Cone Lickers
Mercury Staff We recently published a very helpful list of the Portland employees you should be tipping on the regular. Unfortunately, we forgot about one. From “Cheap Ass Cone Lickers” on the I, Anonymous Blog. I am tired of you cone lickers out there who come into my ice cream shop, taste a lot of […]
Posted inTheater & Performance
TBA on the Cheap: Five Affordable, Approachable TBA Picks!
Courtesy of Ji Yang / TBA The world of challenging art and performance is typically portrayed as highbrow, eccentric, and exclusive. But the 2018 TBA festival is taking a big step towards inclusivity with a noticeably affordable show program. This year, only a handful of attractions at PICA’s eleven-day contemporary art festival cost more than […]
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The I, Anonymous Classic of the Day: The McDonald’s CURSE
I, Anonymous is the column where YOU write your most secret confessions and insane rants—anonymously! Sure, it’s a great way to get stuff off your chest, but it’s also a way for you to become FAMOUS—anonymously. The best rants or confessions are chosen to be featured in the print edition of the Mercury (read weekly […]
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Owen Wilson Visits the Portland Art Museum’s The Shape of Speed
Wow! Jon Richardson Owen Wilson and Andrew Wilson visited the Portland Art Museum YESTERDAY. Sorry, Portland, we missed’m. “It was a surprise visit!” Ian Gillingham, the PAM’s Press and Publications Manager said via e-mail. “They were visiting the The Shape of Speed during the PAM’s press preview.” (UGH, I WAS INVITED TO THAT. I wish […]
Posted inComedy
The Best of the WORST of I, Anonymous!
Kalah Allen For 18 glorious years, the Mercury has proudly (?) published your most secret anonymous rants and confessions in our I, Anonymous column and blog. And more often than not? Things get really weird. That’s why we’ve collected some of the best, strangest, and most shocking I, Anonymous submissions ever printed for your masochistic […]
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The I, Anonymous Classic of the Day: Thanks, Jackass (Sincerely!)
I, Anonymous is the column where YOU write your most secret confessions and insane rants—anonymously! Sure, it’s a great way to get stuff off your chest, but it’s also a way for you to become FAMOUS—anonymously. The best rants or confessions are chosen to be featured in the print edition of the Mercury (read weekly […]
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I Smelled Portland’s (Maybe) Corpse Flower
Who wants to smell a dead body? Suzette Smith The Mercury received a tip on a potential corpse flower blooming in a NE Portland neighborhood—because of course we did. While the picture certainly looked like the flower in question, some botanical facts™ immediately sprang to mind which made it unlikely this was a real corpse […]
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Five Things I Learned at Wilhelm’s Mausoleum This Memorial Day
Inside one of Wilhelm’s many cavernous rooms Ciara Dolan This Memorial Day, I finally got to peek inside Wilhelm’s Portland Memorial Funeral and Cremation—the gargantuan mausoleum in Sellwood with Illuminati-looking imagery on its facade and that strange (but beautiful) Great Blue Heron Mural painted on its lower west-facing wall. I’ve always been drawn to macabre […]
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The I, Anonymous Classic of the Day: A Very Shitty Date
I, Anonymous is the column where YOU write your most secret confessions and insane rants—anonymously! Sure, it’s a great way to get stuff off your chest, but it’s also a way for you to become FAMOUS—anonymously. The best rants or confessions are chosen to be featured in the print edition of the Mercury (read weekly […]