I HOLD DOORS FOR MEN AND WOMEN. AM I DOING IT TO FEEL MASCULINE?

i know its hard to understand if you are basically unattractive but this perv was trying to interact with you. You blew it.

Wow... instead of thinking how nice to you someone was trying to be (awkward as it was or not) you turn it around into a man hating tirade. Grow the fuck up; there are women out there besides feminazis that enjoy a little door opening for them. Guess what, its sweet and thoughtful. It's not done to make the woman feel inferior, its done as a gesture of respect.

You shit on someones day by being a bitch when they were just being nice to you. They weren't necessarily trying to get in your panties, nor were they putting you on a pedestal to worship (maybe that was the problem?). It was a door, it was opened for you, get over it. The LEAST you can do is smile and walk through the fucking thing.

Fuck you!

weak sauce. Someone held a door for you and you are so jilted you have to scribe a complaint. I'll just chalk this one up to "white people problems" I guess.

Either you people (I'm assuming you are all a bunch of chivalrous neck-bearded nice-guys) didn't read the article, or you just simply do not understand. It would be one thing if she had been walking a couple feet behind him and he propped the door open for a second as she went through. It becomes another thing entirely when he is just holding the door for an excuse to oogle at a chick who is not obligated to appreciate his attention. Suck it losers!

C'mon ladies...
So a guy held the door for you and said "Ladies First". And since you're a woman and he's a man he was obviously doing it just so he could check out her tits.Here's the thing-maybe he ACTUALLY was just being nice. Sure, you don't NEED a MAN to hold a door for you, but maybe he didn't do it because he thinks your vagina makes you weak. Again, maybe he did it to be nice. Are you implying that a woman wouldn't hold a door open for a man if the situation was reversed? Are women just assholes? And sure, the "ladies first" thing. You know, my grandmother called everyone "honey." Male or female. And she didn't use that word as a pejorative toward men. It was how she spoke. So maybe the man who had the unmitigated temerity to hold a door for you just talks that way because that's how he talks. Not every male gesture is an attack on women. Just something to remember for next time, so you don't right another letter like your last one and sound like such an asshole.

It is so much more complicated than someone being nice. It's NOT over-sensi or rude to not like when someone treats you differently because of your perceived gender or size or disability. It is quite frankly exhausting, and difficult. Calling the writer out on this post for being an asshole is fucking dismissive of her, guess what, real fucking feelings.

And sometimes what would be nice, is if people wouldn't choose condescending acts as their outlets of kindness. There are a lot of other ways to be nice to a person that doesn't make them feel weird. Or gender them. Or make them suddenly body-aware. That is not your job. Can we all assume everyone can take care of themselves, and acknowledge that making that assumption is what is goddamn nice.

I grew up in Portland. I love my NE community. I love that nearly every person I pass on the street will lift their gaze to find my eyes, smile, and trade a quick How's It Goin, with me. That feels nice. And that is the only kind of niceness we need from strangers in passing.

How about this: some people were brought up with manners and other people were brought up with none. Instead of bitching for hours and hours about how someone held the door open for a stranger, a simple "Thank You" would be fine. Plus, he may have wanted to catch a nice view of your ass - so quit thinking that men open doors open for women b/c they think women are the weaker sex.

It's funny that people who are pissed at this letter use the excuse that his holding the door open awkwardly and obtrusively had nothing to do with women being the weaker sex, but because it's an opportunity to ogle. Calm down, ladies! It's not that you're weaker, it's just that as men we have to put ourselves in your personal space so we can look at your body closer!

Maybe "funny" is the wrong word.