Britney Spears – “Work Bitch”She’s back with an incorrectly punctuated song title and she would like you to… work more? I wish she’d stop calling me a bitch, but her point is a good one: If you want a Maserati, you need to work. Unless you’re cute and then you can half-ass a music career. […]
Alex Falcone
Alex is a moderately attractive comedian and Internet celebrity. He writes about philosophy, robots, travel, and himself.
Posted inComedy
Can YOU Answer the Troll’s Riddle?
I wanted to share this thing I made with you. I wrote this sketch, it was performed live on Live Wire! Radio, and then I animated it. The whole process took 3 months. All you have to do is watch it and then my time was well spent.
Posted inComedy
You Know It’s Bad When Blind Women Think You’re Ugly
I saw something the other day that I’m still trying to wrap my head around. I was walking by the river and I saw two women walking arm in arm. One was blind and had dark glasses and a white cane. The other one was rating the hotness of each guy that passed them from […]
Posted inTech
Apple iPhone 5s Announcement Preview
It’s that time again! It’s time for Apple to release the newest, most incrediblest, revolutionariest piece of technology ever shown by guys wearing jeans on stage. Don’t worry, you don’t need to watch to announcement because I’ve tracked all the most accurate analysis, speculation, rumor, leak, and made-up nonsense and I’m here to give you […]
Posted inComedy
Everybody On Facebook Can Stop Praying For Me
By now Facebook is big enough that all your religious cousins are using it. They might even be using it more than you do because God told them their place is still in the home so they have lots of free time. A strange side effect of this demographic shift from college kids to religious […]
Posted inMusic
Stop What You’re Doing And Let This Video Make Your Day
There’s a very important question and it’s up to two Norwegians with a surprisingly large CGI budget to answer it for us. h/t Gawker by way of my friend Kelsey.
Posted inComedy
Thanks For the Great First Year, Blogtownies!
August marked my one year blogiversary here on Blogtown, USA, and what a year it’s been! Let’s take a quick trip down memory lane and consider all the reasons you’re lucky to have me. Your Comments Show Your LoveOne of the things that surprised me when I looked back it at is how much the […]
Posted inComedy
When I Was Your Age, I Played Bloody Knuckles
I’m almost 30 so I’ve started to use phrases like “Kids these days.” But I don’t idealize my childhood like some people; I think Kids These Days are awesome. Sure, they might inadvertently spend $10k while playing Candy Crush on your iPad, but that doesn’t make them spoiled. It makes them healthy, modern children. In […]
Posted inComedy
Centaurs: Even More Disgusting Than Mermaids
I’ve got some strong opinions about mermaids (they’re gross, and I hate them). But actually it goes deeper than that. I think I’m a one-species-per-body purist. Centaurs, it turns out, are even more disgusting than mermaids. If you look at the way they’re connected, centaurs have an entire human torso. But they also have a […]
Posted inOtters!
Unofficial Otter Friday
I’m not an official Otter Friday correspondent, but since two of them were named Alex, I feel qualified to update you on the following adorable otter memes, all from my Tumblr Completely True Animal Facts.
Posted inComedy
The Person With the Most Creative Idea for These 4 Items Can Have Them
I have a few items that I’d like to get rid of and you, loyal Blogtown reader, could be the proud recipient. Just leave a comment with your idea for them as a group (or individually) and the best one will win them. Here’s what I’ve got: Approx $5 in Canadian coinsLeft over from a […]
Posted inPortland
A Brief History Lesson on the Name “Portland”
We all know our fair city is named after Portland, Maine. “Blah blah blah three pennies blah blah thank god we’re not called Boston, OR.” But it occurred to me that everything on the East Coast is named after something in Europe, so I decided to learn a bit more about the Portland Namely Tree. […]