I finally gave in and looked up the website connected with those silly King Obama stickers I’ve seen on stop signs. I’m glad I did. Maybe I’m just missing the thrill of the last presidential election, but it was an absolute treat to relive some of the worst arguments against the president’s reelection ever offered. […]
Alex Falcone
Alex is a moderately attractive comedian and Internet celebrity. He writes about philosophy, robots, travel, and himself.
Posted inPolitics
Paranoid People Are the Only True Optimists
HARDER THAN LANDING ON THE REAL MOON. It’s weird, but the only people who seem completely immune to cynicism are paranoid people. They’re incredibly optimistic about technology, politics, medicine, and the power of people to accomplish things. Gun sales are still breaking records and causing shortages across the country. People are stockpiling because they’re worried […]
Posted inMusic
Miley Cyrus CAN’T STOP
Remember Miley Cyrus? She used to be tameable but then couldn’t be tamed all of a sudden? Well she’s back with an awesome punky haircut and a series of ideas that are unstoppable but it doesn’t matter because nobody would want to stop them anyway! Check it out, and be sure to watch for: -> […]
Posted inComedy
Comedy Tour Diary: Messing w/ Texas
Up and coming comedian Alex Falcone sends us updates from his time on the road. His hair looks great today. —The Real Editors, Not Just Alex Writing On His Own I really wanted to love San Antonio. It was my first time in Texas and it started so well. The first native Texan I met […]
Posted inQueer
Homopocalypse!
Or, Terrible Things That Have Happened in States That Passed Same-Sex Marriage
Terrible things that have happened in states that passed same-sex marriage!
Posted inFood and Drink
The Worst Four Sodas at the New Rocket Fizz Downtown
If you want to get my attention, opening a candy/soda shop down the street from my apartment is a good way to do it. That’s exactly what Rocket Fizz, the latest franchise of the California chain, just did at 6th and Alder. It’s a thing to behold. They’ve got a massive selection organized on the […]
Posted inEvents
Waterfront Carnie Report and Review
From outside, the annoyingly capitalized Rose Festival CityFair at Waterfront Park seems exactly like the midways of my childhood: the same creaky rides, crooked games, and sad looking temporary workers. But maybe I’m just a grump and there really is a huge world of fun behind that movable fencing. I decided to find out. The […]
Posted inReligion
Scientology’s Shiny New Church/Giftshop
If you haven’t noticed, the Scientologists have a brand new storefront in downtown Portland and it’s awesome. If you’d like to watch promotional DVDs while feeling like the men in suits who watch your every move might murder you, then this is definitely the place for you. The Portland branch of the Church of Scientology—from […]
Posted inPANIC!
Keep Your Fluoridation Chemicals Out Of My Water Chemicals
I’m going to set aside an actual discussion of the pros/cons to adding fluoride to our drinking water because that’s what the good people at Clean Water Portland have done. Let’s instead look at how they’re trying to market their cause. Cute kid. But that’s… not how water works. This is going to come as […]
Posted inComedy
A Comedian’s Take On President Obama At The Press Correspondents Dinner
Over the weekend, I saw numerous stories about how funny the president was at the Press Correspondents Dinner. No surprise there; dude can tell a joke. He’s charming and has amazing timing. But what got me was the headlines saying “Obama Funnier Than Conan.” You want to actually compare his comedy chops to a comedian? […]
Posted inMusic
No, Train. Mermaids Are Still The Worst
Hate is such a strong word, so I try not to use it very often. Here’s a complete list of things I hate: Cupcakes, mermaids, end of list. And mostly I’m just disappointed in cupcakes for being so much worse than real cakes. So really, the only thing I hate is mermaids. This Train song […]
Posted inLuv
Thanks For the Wedding Advice, Readers
I got lots and lots of wedding advice from readers of my hilarious article The Hitching Post and its Blogtown predecessors. Thanks to everybody who commented, e-mailed me, tried to sell me their wedding venue on Twitter, and talked about me on the Portland Weddings Facebook Group. I’ve decided I’m going to take ALL OF […]