Did you guys know Canada has a Vancouver too? And it’s WAY better than ours. We should build a giant Columbia River Crossing that skips Washington altogether and lets off in British Columbia. Before I went I couldn’t have told you if British Columbia was more like Narnia or actual Columbia. I’m happy to report […]
Alex Falcone
Alex is a moderately attractive comedian and Internet celebrity. He writes about philosophy, robots, travel, and himself.
Posted inComedy
An Indian Shipping Company Thinks I’m an Incense Magnate. What Do I Do?
The first email I got, I figured was spam. It was back in January and it said I had an overdue bill. But there was no link to give bank account info, just an invoice with a bunch of ID numbers, descriptions of kinds of incense, and shipping dates. In February I got a scan […]
Posted inComedy
Should I Read “Atlas Shrugged”? A Flow Chart.
I made this flowchart for my podcast (Read it and Weep, a good podcast about bad books and movies) to help people decide if they ought to read Atlas Shrugged. I hope it helps you if you’re thinking about reading it. The Read it and Weep podcast
Posted inFeature
University of Phoenix
(On the Internet Somewhere)
It’s like virtual-reality college!
Posted inArtsy
Five More Acts of Unadulterated Awesomeness
Another “Five Small Acts of Unadulterated Awesomeness Around Portland” In my ongoing goal to be more positive, I’ve collected another list of small, but completely great things I’ve seen around Portland recently. [1] Panda Express Will Tow You T-shirt from Coffeehouse NWFor as long as I’ve been going there, Coffeehouse NW had this paper sign […]
Posted inComedy
A Love Letter to the New City Target
Hi, Target! I love you! Dearest City Target, Your faithful servant Alex here. I just wanted to write you to thank you for finally allowing me to realize the full joy of basic commerce in the downtown core. Before you came into my life, I had to bus all the way out to Jantzen Beach. […]
Posted inComedy
A Couple Positive Experiences With Wedding Vendors
I complained a lot about the terrible vendors I had to deal with before my wedding. And some were pretty bad while others were the WORST (Ohana party rentals and their lies, two different hair people who canceled on very short notice). But some vendors were genuinely wonderful and I wanted to take a second […]
Posted inComedy
There Is No Sanctity of Marriage to Protect, I’ve Checked
I got straight-married the other day. The traditional kind of marriage that some people are working really hard to protect. “The way things have been for thousands of years.” You know, that one marriage. The sacred one. Except the whole process struck me as being really unsacred. All you need to get married in Oregon […]
Posted inComedy
Stop Telling Me How To Live My Life, Billboards!
Values. Are you passing them on? Every other billboard seems to want you to. It’s easy to be jaded and think there’s some kind of evil message behind the whole campaign, but I believe the Values.com public service announcements are genuine because they’re so corny and uninspiring. That’s a puppet. It’s not real. I’m not […]
Posted inComedy
Every Good Idea Has Been Taken We Should All Just Give Up
Benjamin Franklin invented the stove, bifocals, urinary catheters, and the idea of “paying it forward.” And he still had time to be a politician, musician, diplomat, postmaster general, and, apparently, a terrific lover. The Miley Cyrus hit “We Can’t Stop” was written by Miley Cyrus, Mike L. Williams II, Pierre Ramon Slaughter, Timothy Thomas, Theron […]
Posted inFood and Drink
A Very Limited Defense Of Starbucks
We live in a city where a 20 minute walk can include two Stumptowns, two Baristas, and Water Avenue Coffee. We are absolutely spoiled. So it’s easy to forget that Starbucks is actually an amazing place as long as you don’t surround it with anything better. When you’re traveling outside of a handful of cities […]
Posted inFood and Drink
Restaurant Death Watch
Would anybody like to hire me to predict whether your restaurant will survive or not? I’m really good. I’ve got a creepy sixth sense recently where I can tell almost instantly how long a new establishment will stay in business. I’m seven-for-seven with restaurants I predicted wouldn’t survive the year and it’s only June. There […]