1) Happy 20th birthday, The X-Files! And here is one person’s opinion regarding the series’ nine best episodes. Do you agree? OR DON’T YOU? 2) Read an oral history of one of my favorite series of all time—and one of the forefathers of the “excellent drama on cable” boom—The Shield. 3) Here’s a quick teaser […]
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Posted inPortland
Five More Acts of Unadulterated Awesomeness
Welcome to episode two of my continuing effort to document Portland’s small victories and unsung heroes. [1] Tiny giraffe chained to the street.In my last episode, I mentioned how much joy I get out of the tiny horses chained to the street. Alert reader Virginia sent me this picture of a tiny giraffe chained up […]
Posted inBieber Fever
Confidential to Justin Bieber: Five Ways to Get Punk’d
Dear Justin Bieber: I know it’s been 27 minutes since I last wrote, but I must take umbrage with your latest business decision, and NO, I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS, BECAUSE THIS IS THE GREATEST THING IN THE WORLD!! PANT! PANT!! AHHH-RROOOOOOOOOOO!!! I’m talking about your decision to take over hosting duties for the abysmally […]
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Five Cathys
As Dave previously mentioned, the last ever Cathy comic strip was published yesterday. But she shouldn’t get dibs on the name, right? To help wash the thought of this out of your mind forever, here are five totally unrelated Cathys courtesy of Google image search. 1. “ACK!!” 2. “ACK!!” 3. “ACK!!” 4. “ACK!!” 5. “ACK!!”
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Five Pictures that PROVE Justin Bieber Can Act
Guys! Tonight, tonight, TONIGHT is Justin Bieber’s dramatic acting debut on CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS, 9 pm) in which he plays either a bomber, a bomber’s brother or who gives a shit because it’s JUSTIN BIEBER! ACTING! For those haters out there who still don’t believe that Justin is the Kurt Cobain of acting, […]
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Five Halloween Costumes Designed to Scare the Shit Into Your Pants
Guys! Halloween! Just around the corner! And this year I’ve decided to “out-creep” myself by purchasing a vintage child’s Halloween costume, and wearing it on top of my grown-up nude body. Then I will hide behind a dumpster in an alley. Until YOU come along. Here are my top five picks (plus a bonus). 5. […]
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Five Ways I Can Judo Your Ass
This past weekend, I was the hit of Ned’s birthday party (naturally) by showing off my wicked sick Judo moves. I took a “junk Judo” self-defense class in college (taught by an ROTC sergeant who also happily showed me how to “decapitate Charlie with a shovel if you’re ever caught in the jungle”), and surprisingly, […]
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Five of my Favorite Men’s Magazine Covers
That homophobic Captain Marvel post from earlier today reminded me of my AWESOME collection of men’s action or “sweat” magazines from the ’50s and ’60s. These pulpy rags were tailor-made for former WWII soldiers who found themselves transformed into bored, emasculated suburban drones, and were extremely popular at the time. In fact, they were so […]
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Five Best “I’m With Asshole” Photos
5. “I’m with asshole.” 4. “I’m with asshole.” 3. “I’m with asshole.” 2. “I’m with asshole.” 1. “I’m with asshole.”