Note to anyone producing a HORROR show on TV: The week of Halloween, you must—by federal law—make your Halloween episode extra super-duper scary! See American Horror Story for further details. Thank you, and let’s move on and start chitty-chatting about this week’s (YAAAAAWWWN) “Halloween episode” of The Walking Dead. Spoilery spoilers and recap after the […]
Horrors
Posted inEvents
Show Me the Freaky: Carnival of Horrors
I know there are roughly seven billion bazillion Halloween parties this weekend vying for your attendance, but allow me to personally invite you to attend the Carnival of Horrors, a sideshow-themed dance party and the very last edition of Shut Up & Dance to take place at the Fez (they’ve got a new home at […]
Posted inTV
The American Horror Story Chitty-Chat Club!
Did you watch last night’s Hallooooooweeeeeen episode of American Horror Story, appropriately titled “Tricks and Treats”? Good thing I no longer have any emotions, or it would have totally scared the crap into my pants! Let’s chitty-chat about it after the jump, okay? SPOILERS AHOY! Courtesy FX “Just like a prayer! (Whooaa!) You’re love will […]
Posted inTV
A Grown Man Yelling at Dust and Air: My Night With Zak From Ghost Adventures
I did not enjoy myself last night. You probably did. You were probably doing something amusing, like watching television or having sex. I was not. Much to my chagrin, noted sadist and Mercury arts editor Alison Hallet thought it would be funny if I went on a tour of the “Shanghai Tunnels” hosted by Zak […]
Posted inReligion
JesusWeen?
Somebody forgot to swing by Urban Dictionary before announcing their attempt to redefine Halloween.
Posted inTV
First Five Minutes of American Horror Story
American Horror Story creator Ryan Murphy is doing us a solid by releasing the first five minutes of the season premiere (coming at you Oct 17 on FX) on the show’s Facebook page. OH, YOU TEASE. Anyway, it depicts newlyweds Adam Levine and Jenna Dewan on a “haunted honeymoon” tour of America’s creepiest places to […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Bollywood Jaws Doesn’t Fuck Around
Steven Spielberg’s Jaws is a classic—no one’s disputing that! HOWEVER! When compared with the Bollywood version of Jaws, Steven Spielberg’s Jaws kind of fucks around. Because, if nothing else, BOLLYWOOD JAWS DOES NOT FUCK AROUND!! Stop fucking around, Steven Spielberg’s Jaws. Via.
Posted inHorrors
Reasons Columbus Day is the Worst Holiday of the Year
1. I always forget about it and the post office is closed. 2. Genocide. When can we stop commemorating this asshole?
Posted inMusic
Geoff Tate Wants to Tell You About Himself
Here’s the EPK (electronic press kit) for Geoff Tate (singer for Queensrÿche). His life is obviously awesome, and he’d like to tell you all about it. I think I just ruined your weekend. UPDATE: This.
Posted inTV
New American Horror Story Trailer: Here’s That Eyelid Retractor You Ordered!
Though I was hoping for a touch more from this machine gun-edited new trailer for American Horror Story (season premiere October 17 on FX!), there’s still much to be said for the inclusion of “eyelid retractors.” The Mercury‘s pair is in the shop… I’m forced to use toothpicks. CHECK IT OUT!
Posted inTheater & Performance
Get Your Tickets to see The Lost Boys!
Conflict of interest? YOU BETCHA. But it’s a conflict you want to know about! Guys! I’m very honored to be in the upcoming theatrical production of The Lost Boys: Live!—playing every weekend this month over at the IFCC theater (5430 N Interstate)! If you were a fan of last year’s mega-hit Road House: The Play, […]