…is that you can’t understand a goddamn word they say! Take this toddler preacher, for example, who took the mike from his pastor father to lecture the church on how Jesus Christ bled to death for their sins, but didn’t make a lick of sense because, duh, he’s a toddler. (Not that Christianity makes sense […]
Oh, You Kids!
Posted inOh, You Kids!
The Internet’s Newest Most Favorite Grampy
His name is Johnathan Wolcott, he was born in New Haven, Connecticut on March 17, 1933, his wife Edith died 11 years ago in 1998, and he has his own tumblr account which he obviously has no earthly idea how to use, and thank god for that, because it’s hilarious. Examples: Much more here. As […]
Posted inArtsy
Dance Off in the Rain
It’s too late for me to be this young and talented, but… gorgeous. Just gorgeous. Watch. via
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Cody Simpson? You, Sir, are No Justin Bieber!
A bunch of you old fogies bitch and moan about my near-incessant Justin Bieber posts. But because I share this knowledge with you, you in turn can discuss it intelligently with others while (of course) turning your nose up. That being said, THERE’S A NEW KID ON THE BLOCK, GUYS. And his name is Cody […]
Posted inBikes
Headphones & Bicycles, A Love Story
Dudes dudes! Don’t look at me like that. I know, I know, I’ve heard it a thousand times, (mostly from my nun of a mother), I SHOULDN’T listen to music through headphones while on my bicycle. It’s not safe. It’s probably against the law. It can cause me to become a really reckless cyclist, especially […]
Posted inEthics
Kid Cudi Punch Party!
Does listening to Kid Cudi make you feel like taking a swing at him? Me too. Still, I probably wouldn’t climb up onstage and actually do it. But for one fan at Cudi’s hometown show in Cleveland, the urge proved too impossible to resist: And watch Kid Cudi fight back! This isn’t the first time […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
IT’S SUMMER! GO OUTSIDE FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!!
Blogtownies, you have to do me a favor. You have to go outside. For my sake, and for christ’s sake. Me, I’m here, strapped to this office chair with duct tape that Steve Humphrey brought in specifically because he knew I would try to make a bolt for it on this glorious July day. Christ, […]
Posted inOh, You Kids!
The Internet Ruins Little Girl’s Life
A few weeks ago I posted a video of little girls saying “pig eyes” to strangers on the internet over their video-blogs. Recently, one of their ilk was bullied by a large group of internet “pranksters” (mainly 4Chan’s /b/ message board) and apparently her life was “ruined.” Basically what happened is the girl in question—fake-internet-name […]
Posted inMusic
This DJ vs. Your DJ: ON WHOM DO YOU WAGER??
Look, I don’t want to start any turntable turf wars—but this DJ makes all your DJing look like shit. Your DJing is like this: “Durrrrrrrrrrrrrr… snore.” His DJing is like, “BING-BING-BAM, BAM-BAMMY-BAM, BING-BING-BAM, BAM-BAMMY-BAM!!” So yeah, sorry… but I’m not hiring you for my nephew Jacob’s Bar Mitzvah. Not while this DJ lives.
Posted inSports
((( Machotaildrop Drops Tonight )))
If you like cake, funny looking old men, beautiful music, fashion, the best film ever made and a funny little thing called skateboarding, you better get off you sweaty rump and come see Machotaildrop tonight. Clinton Street Theater, 7:00 pm (all ages), 9:00 (21+) You can score tickets here using the trusty Mercury Ticketing system, […]
Posted inFashion
PHART CHART TOPPER!
This week’s PHART CHART TOPPER is Bring Whoever You Want To Bring! Congrats, and look! We’ve animated it for you! Will you be the next Phart Chart Topper? Submit your art or photos to the Mercury’s Flickr group, and start PHART-ing today!!
Posted inOh, You Kids!
Today in You are Really Old
Happy Birthday, Sylvester Stallone (64)! Happy Birthday, Tia and Tamera Mowry (32) of Sister, Sister! And Happy Birthday Burt Ward (65) who played Robin on the hit ’60s series Batman. GAACK! WE’RE OLD!!