One Day at a Time

MONDAY, JULY 14 Now, what we’re about to say is serious so NO LAUGHING. A gasp of fear rang through Hollywood today when it was reported that Julia Roberts collapsed from chest pain! (We said no laughing.) The wide-mouthed actress was on holiday with one-year hubby Danny Moder on the tiny Italian isle of Pantelleria […]

MONDAY, JULY 7 Hear ye, hear ye! The honorable Britney Spears would once again like your attention in order to make another unwise attempt to mold her public persona. (Well, don’t look at us–we’re not about to stop her!) According to W magazine, the world’s most famous former virgin has only had one pee-pee in […]

MONDAY, JUNE 30 Don’t you just love it when superstars like Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz get together? It’s great because once the press gets wind of it, the happy couple are constantly harangued by snoopy spies and tabloid reporters whose ridiculously outlandish stories eventually causes such tension between the pair it drives an impenetrable […]

MONDAY, JUNE 23 Sniff. Sniff. Do you smell something burning? Yes you do, and it’s called RED HOT LOVE! Seems like everybody in Tinsel Town has finally decided to reveal their secret loves to the world. For example Hot popper Justin Timberlake and Charlie’s angelic Cameron Diaz are the new item du jour, and while […]

MONDAY, JUNE 16 You can go after Janeane Garofalo, you can go after Michael Moore. You can even go after the Dixie Chicks for their views on the war. But PLEASE, for the love of God, leave Pamela Anderson out of it. She doesn’t know ANYTHING. And we mean that literally. According to IMDB.com, poor […]

MONDAY, JUNE 9 Oh, those poor, poor celebrities! Believe it or not, life is often very difficult for these overwhelmingly talented individuals, so perhaps you can stop your catty snipe-talk right now. Unconvinced? Then please turn your attention to the plight of poor Renee Zellweger. In order for her to plump back up for her […]

MONDAY, JUNE 2 What started out as a simple public apology has turned into one of the most invective-spewing, name-calling Hollywood catfights of the century! The cats in question? No other than indie director du jour Vincent Gallo and portly film critic Roger Ebert. It all started after Gallo allegedly issued a public apology after […]

MONDAY, MAY 26 Hot on the trail of the latest in Hollywood Gossip, One Day at a Time returns with this latest tip concerning that monobrowed loverboy, Colin Farrell! Yes, the star of Phone Booth–whose mere name can cause automatic moistness betwixt the legs of even the most chaste tabloid columnist–was seen cavorting around the […]

MONDAY, MAY 19 It was a day of tearful goodbyes when White House press secretary/ replicant Ari Fleischer (your standard pleasure model created by the Tyrell Corporation) announced today he was stepping down from his post. Fleischer told the President on Friday that he wanted to leave, and claims the meeting ended with Bush kissing […]

MONDAY, MAY 12 OUCH! Tough day for that grandpappy of respectable newspapers, the New York Times. They got the wool pulled over their eyes–but good!–by former reporter Jayson Blair, who is said to have fabricated dozens of stories during his tenure at the daily paper. According to a 14,000-word mea culpa printed in the Times […]

MONDAY, MAY 5 Ohhhh, that adorable Ashton Kutcher. Doesn’t one just want to rub his naked body with a lemon and a tablespoon of sugar and lick it off? You betcha. And now that he’s broken up with that ho-bag Brittany Murphy (who we’re sure is very nice), he’s footloose, fancy-free and wagging his tongue […]

MONDAY, APRIL 28 Holy cats, what a huge day for your favorite thing in the world HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP. Apparently imitating Winona Ryder is the new thing within the Tinsel Town geriatric set because 66-year-old Shelley Morrison (who plays Rosario on Will & Grace) has been accused of felony shoplifting. Shelley, who plays Karen’s sass-talkin’ maid […]