One Day at a Time

MONDAY, APRIL 21 One reason you like One Day at a Time rather than other gossip columns is because we never make you guess about who’s doing what to whom. Take the New York Post for example. When they’re not calling for the tar and feathering of the Bush-bashing Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, they […]

MONDAY, APRIL 14 “They caught the five of clubs! They caught the five of clubs!” This was the screeching refrain heard today from the soft, but overactive lips of our hubby Kip after learning that U.S. forces had captured Saddam Hussein’s half-brother, Barzan Ibrahim Hasan al-Tikriti. After lethargically removing the cucumber slices from our delicate […]

MONDAY, APRIL 7 Journalism is in our blood. And as journalists–when we’re not getting our hotel suites blown to bits by trigger happy Marines–we are committed to upholding the highest of journalistic standards except, of course, when our hubby Kip Romano gets involved. Frankly, when he comes home looking at us with those puppy-dog eyes, […]

MONDAY, MARCH 31 It’s a brand new week, and in the pages of One Day at a Time, Operation Catfight Freedom continues! But first, an update on our drink-throwing, cigarette-thumping, invective-slurring harpy-of-the-month, hotel heiress Paris Hilton. This young party-hearty sexpot has been on quite a tear lately, reportedly mixing it up with a slew of […]

MONDAY, MARCH 24 It is becoming increasingly apparent that we are a nation divided. Friend has turned against friend, family member against family member. And while both may have important points to make, most Americans have chosen to settle into one of two camps: Either you want to read daily reports about the raging war […]

MONDAY, MARCH 17 Today President Bush came on television to tell his arch-nemesis Saddam Hussein it was time to poop or get off the pot. After months of valiantly struggling to end this stand-off diplomatically (Hey! Stop that snickering!), Bush gave Hussein the mother of all ultimatums: The Iraqi dictator was given 48 hours to […]

MONDAY, MARCH 10 Pop quiz, hot shot: Who would you rather have as the father of your unborn bastard baby–Irish hunk Colin Farrell, or Anglo-Saxon has-been Marky Mark Wahlberg? As it turns out both have inseminated willowy twenty-something models outside the holy realms of matrimony. However, both have reacted to the unplanned pregnancies in very […]

MONDAY, MARCH 3 Do you ever just sit around and wonder, “Hmmm where does Britney Spears get all her ideas?” Well, now we have the answer. Britney is inspired by none other than Iraqi dictator, Saddam Hussein. According to IMDB.com, the princess of pop has been so spooked by a Japanese stalker, she’s taken to […]

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 24 Is it possible? Could the romance of the century finally be coming to an end? No, silly. We’re not talking about J.LO and Ben Affleck! We’re talking about Ben Affleck and Matt Damon! According to British tabloid The Sun, rumors are flying about an alleged fistfight between the homoerotic, yet non-homosexual couple. […]

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 17 Perky pop tart Britney Spears is madder than a poodle in a pigpen over allegations made by The Star that she was seen snorting the devil’s COCAINE–and was narc’d out by an anonymous member of her own entourage! The incident allegedly happened last November in the VIP toilets of Miami’s trendy Crobar […]

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 10 While many still wonder why the Bush Administration recently raised the national security alert from yellow to orange, we think we may have figured out the answer: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez have canceled their wedding! That’s correct: Hollywood’s lovey-doviest couple are reported to be on the skids. Some say the trouble […]

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 3 Jaws dropped across the world today when it was announced that reformed rock ‘n’ roll skank Courtney Love actually got into trouble with the law! According to British tabloid The Mirror, Love was arrested in London after a pilot on a Virgin Airways flight from Los Angeles claimed that Love was “causing […]