Could you imagine if the Rapture really happened on Saturday and all those evangelicals got sucked to to the sky and left the earth to us? What kind of a world would we who are left behind experience? Who would try to ban books in libraries? Who would make idiotic “challenges” to evolution and otherwise […]
Religion
Posted inReligion
Mike Seaver TOTALLY Embarrasses Stephen Hawking
TMZ talked to former child star/freaky Christian Kirk Cameron about world renown physicist Stephen Hawking’s claims that heaven is a “fairy story for people afraid of the dark.” OH YEAH? Well, Kirk may not be no astrophysicianal scientist, but he had THIS to say about THAT: Cameron tells us, “Professor Hawking is heralded as ‘the […]
Posted inReligion
The End is Nigh… Which Means “Saturday,” Guys!
So I’m here in my new office, and people keep coming by asking me why I haven’t unpacked anything, or dressed my child mannequins yet… Ummm… because of THIS, dingalings! Judgment Day is set to go down THIS SATURDAY at 3 pm pacific, and it’s GUARANTEED (at least according to the Bible, and the Family […]
Posted inMusic
Lady Gaga’s “Judas” Video: Poor Jesus!!
“Jud-AH! Jud-AH-AH! Jud-AH! Jud-AH-AH!” Hey guys! The new video for Lady Gaga’s “Judas” leaked all over the internet today, and it’s kind of sticky. (Who’s got a sponge?) On the upside, we should hire Lady Gaga to rewrite the entire bible. On the downside, biker Jesus totally gets cock-blocked by Judas (who’s played by that […]
Posted inReligion
Leave it to a Christian to Say Something Stupid
Dear Christianity: EVERYTHING IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!!via
Posted inReligion
Today in Pat Robertson’s Air-Tight Logic
I am a liberal, therefore I want to kill babies. This truth we hold to be self-evident. However, in the following clip from The 700 Club (how do I join??), barely cognizant Pat Robertson builds an extremely convincing case that proves once and for all that the reason we want to kill all those babies […]
Posted inReligion
Busy on May 21st? No? Good, Because Jesus is Coming Back!
According to this billboard spotted in L.A., Jesus is coming back on May 21. SAVE THE DATE! via1) I did not get an Evite about this.2) I’m not picking him up at the airport. He can take a cab.3) I suppose it’s okay if he sleeps on the couch.4) Does Christ really expect me to […]
Posted inReligion
Worshipping! Worshipping! YEAH!
The inevitable Christian alternative universe “homage” to Rebecca Black’s “Friday.” It’s… better than “Friday.” Which has to count as a miracle all by itself. Via Gawker.
Posted inFashion
“Have Your Dad Screen Your Wardrobe”
Guys struggle with sexual lust, women would change the way they dress if they “had any idea what goes through men’s minds,” male college students are especially tormented (all those half-dressed girls arrayed around the quad!), and then there are those skankass whores who show up at church “showing even a little part of their […]
Posted inReligion
The 22nd-Century Church
In case you were worried that the secular humanists were going to win the culture war and God-fearing people would be stuck with lame Geo-Cities pages, fear not. Check out the “web presence” of Evangel Cathedral. “Thou shalt go forth and make wicked flash animations and tasty guitar licks in all nations.” -Matthew 28:19
Posted inGossip
And a Katy Perry Shall Lead Them
Fans of hating Katy Perry already know that, before she was molded by producers like Dr. Luke and The Matrix into a cipher for pseudo-lesbian nonsense mixed with a bullying adherence to traditional gender roles (and maybe paving the way for Sarah Palin?), Perry was a struggling Christian pop act. She even released an album […]